Titanic 2

Yes, this exists.

So your first reaction has got to be "they made a Titanic 2??"  I guess I should explain.  James Cameron and 20th Century Fox and everybody else who hold the rights to the Academy Award winning 1997 "Titanic"* have absolutely nothing at all to do with this semi-sequel.  Instead of those creators, this was made by the legendary low-budget film company, The Asylum Home Entertainment, creators of everybody's favorite rip-off titles for Hollywood Blockbusters.  These are the guys who made "Transmorphers", "100 Million BC", "The Da Vinci Treasure", and "Snakes on a Train".  They also make original movies such as the incomparable work of cinematic genius that is "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus" - soon to have a sequel in "Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus"!  You can tell that these guys are serious professionals in the art of filmmaking, can't you?  Since Titanic was a real ship and cannot be trademarked intellectual property, the Asylum is legally allowed to name any movie they want "Titanic".  But why have a "Titanic" movie, when you can have "Titanic 2"?

The story has nothing to do with "Titanic 1" either.  The plot here is that its the year 2012, and a super rich dude decides to rebuild the Titanic just in time for the ship's 100 year anniversary.  What do you call this new ship?  Titanic 2 - of course!  But we've improved the thing, making it completely unsinkable... we mean it this time!  So the ship is on its maiden voyage (from New York to London, the reverse of Titanic 1), when all of sudden the predictable disaster occurs.  Everything goes "The Day After Tomorrow" and an 800 mile-per-hour tsunami rushes down, carrying a whole iceberg with it.  You thought an iceberg was bad?  Well how about one going more than double the speed of sound!  To nobody's surprise, "Titanic 2" is about to sink, and all its passengers are doomed**.  Sounds like wonderful cheesy entertainment, doesn't it?

I'm sorry to say... things aren't that simple.  This movie blows.

Bleach Commentary: Ep. 173, The Appearance of the Great Evil! The Darkness in the House of Kasumiōji

Another week, another "Bleach".  Last week I was complaining that "Bleach"'s current arc is nothing but boring silly nonsense with barely any action or credible threats.  I think the creators might have been aware of this fact as well, so they decided to do things a bit differently for Ep. 173.  In this week's episode we have... a tea party.

Instead of the titular character for the arc, this episode follows Ichigo and Rukia, and the "protect the Princess" situation that as of yet seems to have absolutley nothing to do with the new Captain Amagai.  I'm pretty sure the two plot threads will come together somehow, but so far this arc isn't giving me much hope that the final pay-off will be worth it.  So Princess Lampshade-hat has escaped her guardians to travel back into the Soul Society, using her clan's own inter-dimensional tunnel*.  She manages to walk exactly thirty seconds before running straight into Kumoi, the evil old guy who hired the ninjas to kill her.  Of course, the evil old guy has to keep up appearances, so he just gestures to his purple-haired ninja to take care of it, and lets the Princess go.  Apparently she's going to "A PARTY!!".  Uch...

Before Ichigo and Rukia and the two guardians enter the Soul Society, they have to leave behind all the other major characters who have no role to play in this side-arc.  This is a funny scene, considering the current fates of these characters in the "real" storyline.  Rukia at the moment is possibly dead thanks to injuries inflicted during her battle with Espada #9, whose bizarre name I will not try to spell (Rukia won the fight at least, being the first character to ever kill a full Espada).  Chad might be dead too, having been beaten up by Spoon-head, Nnoitra.  Uryu is fighting for his life against Granz, that Espada that looks exactly like Kibune.  And Ichigo and Orihime are together, with Ichigo having defeated Grimmjow, but they're both still very deep in enemy territory.  Its a surreal thing, seeing all these characters standing around calmly when in the real plot any one of them might die any second or might even be dead already.

Devil

If you recall back in my "Inception" review, before the movie started a certain trailer for a movie called "Devil" played.  And it was greeted with a collective groan - boos even - from the audience.  This is all thanks to the words "A Film by M. Night Shyamalan" which accompanied the trailer, words which in a post "The Happening" and "Airbender" world can only be marketing poison for any perspective film.  However, I didn't think the trailer looked half bad:  it had a decent promise for a mystery horror movie and seemed like a perfect "Twilight Zone" episode, which is never a bad thing*.  Perhaps I was also motivated by the furious reaction it got in the crowd.  "You all think this is garbage just because M. Night is involved, but I'm going to show you that 'Devil' is the little movie that can!"

Here's the thing:  Shyamalan didn't actually direct or write this movie, despite his name being everywhere in this project.  He's just a Producer, and is credited with "the idea", whatever that means.  The actual screenwriter is Brian Nelson and the actual director is John Erick Dowdle, which thanks to a bit of research are not names that inspire much confidence in me either come to think of it.  Dowdle made the stink-fest "Quarentine" and Nelson wrote the equally smelly "30 Days of Night".  This movie is also part of the "Night Chronicles", whatever that is, presumably some kind of compilation of horror films which bare Shyamalan's adopted middle name.  Considering how far M. Night has fallen recently, I'd put the odds of any more Night Chronicles to be roughly zero.  In fact, I'm surprised this movie got a wide-release at all.  This may indeed be Shyamalan's last hurrah - that one final film to slip by before he's finally run out Hollywood forever.

So here I am, reviewing the other movie created by the director of the worst movie of the year.  Was "Devil" everything I expected?  Or has M. Night's legendary failure streak once again taken another cinematic victim?

Come On!

So its been awhile since I've really had anything to write about in the realm of politics, mostly because nothing particularly interesting has happened in at least a month or two.  Yeah the citizens of Delaware nominated a woman who claims to be a former witch* for Republican candidate for Senator, so what?  At the moment the Democrats are too afraid they're going to lose power and the Republicans are too afraid that they won't win power for either side to really do anything particularly insane.  If you're hoping for any particular bit of major legislation right now, I advise you sit quietly and wait until February.  Nothing is going to happen until then, at least.

But even so, despite those cold hard facts, its still really sad when our Congress cannot come together on something that is so clearly needed.  As a matter of fact, its downright tragic.

So Congress did not pass a military spending bill that had a repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell earmarked within.  That's really the entire sad story right there:  our representatives in Congress, out of fear of the upcoming elections, could not represent the wishes of the American people.  And worse, they could not use their elected powers to best govern this country and make a decision that was best for our national security during a time of war.  Once again, we have to face that sad fact that in this instance, the system did not work.  We'll simply have to wait another six months, or if the Republicans take Congress, until quarter after never.  I don't even think I need to explain why Don't Ask, Don't Tell needs to be repealed, you should know already.  Even if you're fighting against it, you have to know you're on the losing side.  I can't imagine what is motivating people to still stand up and move against it anymore.

Bleach Commentary: Ep. 172, Kibune Goes to War! The Violent Wind that Rages

This is the first in what I imagine will be a very long series of recaps for the English dub anime "Bleach".  Today in the anime world, I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that "Bleach" is the biggest show around.  Its by far the most popular and easily one of the longest-running comic books and cartoon shows I think since the days of "Dragonball Z".  Its home to epic battles, a cast of millions, and more silly Japanese swords than you'd ever imagine in your darkest nightmares.  Of course, its also incredibly stupid.  Massively, monumentally, astoundingly stupid.  And that's why its awesome.

I won't even try to recap what's happened before - it would take from now until next Christmas and beyond to even try to give you guys any kind of background for the events I'm detailing here.  The "Bleach" universe is a very complicated world filled with dozens of factions and factions within those factions and roughly nine billion named characters both big and small.  Its a wacky wonderland of Zanpakutos, Hollows, Arancars, and stuff-lions come to life.  If you're lost now, I can never help you.  I advise you non-"Bleach" fans stop reading and move on.

I usually don't like to "judge" individual episodes of a show, but "Bleach" lately is so consistently goofy that I really can't keep my opinions to myself.  I'm in a situation like the Spoony One and his Wrestle Wrestle, we know the thing we're watching is stupid but its great because its stupid.  Its an emotional divide, to say the least.  I don't want to go ahead and say that an episode is good or bad, I'll simply go in and describe the amazing things I'm sure to see.  I've looked ahead at the manga:  "Bleach" is about to enter a really bizarre period of nonsensical plot developments beyond anything you've seen before.  We're going to have loads to talk about for years here.  So let's get to it:  Episode 172, "Kibune Goes to War! The Violent Wind That Rages"*