Chronicle

I genuinely loved the fucked out of "Chronicle".  When I first saw the trailers for this movie I had no idea what I was in for, it either was the latest gimmicky "found footage" movie, or a seriously cool concept about teenagers using the Force to screw around with people.  It was one of the most intriguing trailers I've ever seen, something I immediately had to bookmark away for future posting.  And boy am I glad I did, because this movie kicks ass.

A few years ago, there was a plan to remake the anime classic "Akira" as a live action American film.  Immediately all true anime fans freaked out, claiming that this would bastardize the original movie and ruin everything it stood for.  And like so many Hollywood projects, it collapsed under its own weight and never amounted to anything but a pile of discarded scripts and lost dreams.  This caused much rejoicing in anime circles, but I was not among of them.  First of all, I'd rather not be the kind of person who wishes for less movies to be made, if somebody wants to make a movie they should be allowed to express themselves that way.  Heck, good or bad, my review gets written anyway and you readers win either way.  Honestly, "Akira" could have been really awesome in live action - especially the final transformation sequence which is still the most disturbing and awesome scene in anime history.  I bring up "Akira" because "Chronicle" is basically that - the Western adaptation of that story.  And let me tell you, every person who complain about an American "Akira" was dead wrong.

If you're willing to forgive some gushing, I really loved this movie.  It was fun, the character arcs were deep, the action was great, and beat of all, the concept is both unique and executed brilliantly.  Best of all, its well shot - I'll explain how a found-footage movie could be well-shot in a moment.  "Chronicle" is the best found-footage movie I've ever seen, by far.  Remember I hate found-footage movies, so that might be damning with faint praise.  So let's give some hard praise, continue reading:

Beyond the Black Rainbow Trailer

The trailer I am about to show you is a movie called "Beyond the Black Rainbow".  It is a movie directed by Panos Cosmatos, who is either the metaphysical villain of a Phillip K. Dick novel or the maker of the most wonderfully weird trailer you'll ever see:

"Beyond the Black Rainbow" is a deliberate call back to early Eighties SciFi horror.  This is the kind of movie you'd see David Cronenburg, John Carpenter, or Stanley Kubrick direct.  And every detail is perfect:  the music, the haircuts, even the grain on the film stock.  I thought this really was an Eighties movie until I saw the release date.  This is the Eighties come alive to make a trailer with an amazing disturbing atmosphere.  The disconnect between modern fashions and early Eighties just makes the madness even more profound.  "Beyond the Black Rainbow" looks exactly like the kind of weird movie you'd find playing on a movie channel at two o'clock in the morning all alone.  If you love movies like "A Clockwork Orange" or "Altered States", this will be your movie I suspect.

Can't wait until it gets released somehow. I still don't know when or if its coming to theatres. But when it comes out, I'll be the first one in line to see it.

Final Fantasy XIII-2 - Part 2

Shockingly, I beat "Final Fantasy XIII-2" already.  Turns out the game was actually roughly thirty hours, which is pretty short for an RPG, but honestly, a great thing.  Because this game was getting very close to wearing out its welcome, I finished it at exactly the right time.

Last post I asked the question of whether I would recommend "Final Fantasy XIII-2" to a human.  Now to spoil anybody who is still wondering about what my answer is, I'll resolve it right now.  "Final Fantasy XIII-2" fixed a lot of the problems of its predecessors, and ultimately ends as a serviceable RPG.  It never becomes a great RPG, but its playable, the gameplay has some good moments (mainly against bosses), and building the perfect party of monsters can be surprisingly fun.  There are a few decent sidequests, so there is joy to be had here.  I loved the soundtrack.  But even with all that, I can't recommend this to a human.  I'm not sure what kind of creature I would recommend this game to, but definitely not one of my species.

I'm going to return to the case of "Metroid Other M", a game whose gameplay I loved, but whose storyline I completely detested.  The analogy is not perfect, because I have all kinds of problems with "Final Fantasy XIII-2"'s gameplay, but it still stands.  Because the storyline of "Final Fantasy XIII-2" is arguably a new low for Square Enix.  I have never played a game with a more unsatisfying storyline.  This is the kind of game that once you are finished, you will be furious for years.  And I guess that's Square Enix's plan.  To make you so angry over the ending that you'll buy the next game or the DLC episodes just to see what will happen.  Well, here's my answer to that:  SCREW YOU.

Final Fantasy XIII-2 - Part 1

Obviously there is going to be a lot that needs to be said for "Final Fantasy XIII-2".  Final Fantasy, as a series, is sick.  Pretty much any player will agree that the Final Fantasy brand does not have nearly the same level of affection and strength that it once had.  Years ago Final Fantasy fans were divided pleasantly over silly issues like "Final Fantasy VI" vs "Final Fantasy VII" and honestly thought "Final Fantasy X-2" was as ridiculous as things would ever get.  "Final Fantasy XIII" brought us a whole new level of anger, betrayal, and mistrust, which contrasted nicely with new fans who did not mind that the game they were playing was definitely not a Final Fantasy game.  But if "Final Fantasy XIII" was merely divisive, "Final Fantasy XIV" was the real blow that turned this series into the laughingstock of the gaming world.  (And let's ignore "Dissidia", because I don't want to cry during this review.)

Personally this series, for me, has been in a pretty crappy downward spiral ever since its loftiest heights, "Final Fantasy XII", arguably the best game SE has ever made.  I didn't play "Final Fantasy XIII", I steadfastly refused to take part in what I could see clearly was absolutely the wrong direction for JRPGs to take.  I explained why I didn't want to be apart of the "Final Fantasy XIII" experience years ago - back then I was convinced that "Final Fantasy XIII" was not a rushed inferior product, and still am.  I am never going to play "Final Fantasy XIII", it will never happen.  And I was definitely not the only one left behind by "Final Fantasy XIII"'s decisions.  The first "Final Fantasy XIII" will probably be debated for years as to its merit or failures, but I'm going to look back upon this era of gaming as a truly sorry chapter in Final Fantasy history.  Of course, that's assuming this series even has a future - or a future that's appealing to me, something that I am beginning to doubt.

"Final Fantasy XIII-2", clearly, is the apology to me and many other people who were turned off by "Final Fantasy XIII-1"'s faults, mainly linearity.  Of course, "Final Fantasy XIII-2" has also gone ahead and made all kinds of new mistakes, but we'll get into that later.  Having played roughly the first quarter of the game, I can say its been a more pleasant experience than I feared, its about as good of a game as I wanted.  There have been some good surprises here, I don't outright hate this game.  But would I recommend it to other humans?  I'm not so sure.

Resonance of Fate - Part 2

I'm now up to Chapter 10 in "Resonance of Fate", and its far from guaranteed that I'll see Chapter 11.  Basically what happened was that after I wrote the Part 1 to this review, I was hit over the head by a piano full of inspiration.  Suddenly I had completely mastered all the tricks to "Resonance of Fate" and was a super kung-fu gunslinging master.  I breezed through the next four Chapters, even finishing a whole Chapter in a day.  Then I was hit by Chapter 10.  The mission has no boss, no dungeon, and almost no combat.  Its a side mission that crushed me, one against these giant construction worker enemies that cannot be killed except by pure luck.

So I'm going to take a long break on "Resonance of Fate".  There are a million games I have to play coming up, most notably being Square Enix's newest adventure in trying to recapture their past glory, "Final Fantasy XIII-2".  Honestly, I don't want to play a game that hates me this much.  "Resonance of Fate" so far has just been intense challenge, its been hard-core.  So I thought.  However, after losing to the twentieth time against a Piledriver Giant, I had to throw my hands up and surrender to the hate.  This game hates me.  The people who made it hate me.  There is nothing but pure hatred coming out of this machine.  No wonder why there are only two Gamefaqs walkthroughs!  Only two people ever beat it!  The difficulty in some of these encounters is simply monstrously bad.  Worse, after an addictive long play period, I wound up getting the worst migraine of my life.  So "Resonance of Fate" is actually causing physical damage to me, that's a sign I need a break.

Here's the problem:  "Resonance of Fate" is an amazing game.  I mean, there are some serious niggling faults (one of which being the refusal of this game to let me win), and a few major gameplay problems, but otherwise it is really a lot of fun.  The story opens up beautifully and the tactical combat is really awesome.  I won't give up on this title until I've fought through all its madness and come out the other side victorious.  But still, migraines are my limit.