Celeste Is a Two-Faced Bitch of a Platformer (That I Still Love)

Celeste tries to be different from the usual ultra-hard platformer. Games like I Wanna Be the Guy or Kaizo Mario World are pure sadism. The developers went out of their way to be as unfair and cruel as possible. They're not games you're supposed to beat, they're games that are supposed to troll you. The devs aren't making an experience you see to the end, they're bullies making a practical joke. Every time the apples in I Wanna Be the Guy fly upward to kill me without warning, I can hear in my mind Nelson Muntz guffawing at my humiliation. Celeste, however, is the rare "splatformer" or Kaizu game that isn't laughing at you. Or so it seems.

For that reason, I think Celeste is the only one of these games I actually like. Things like the legendarily hard Mario Maker levels are all difficulty and nothing else. Celeste is only 70% gaming torture. The other 30% is a surprisingly contemplative and personal journey through a young woman's anxieties. No surprise it's friendly, this game is proudly Canadian. The main story mode is tough, but never merciless, and the atmosphere is inviting instead of mocking. The world is bright and the characters are all decent people. Also annoying buttrock music doesn't blare every time you die. Nobody paints the walls in your blood like Super Meat Boy does.

Celeste seems like it doesn't want to be cruel, it wants to be therapeutic. The main character, Madeline, is only climbing the titular Mt. Celeste to overcome her depression. There are many spikes and pits, but no enemies - that is other than the demons she brings with her. For that reason the game doesn't say "haha, fooled you" it says "come on, don't give up". Celeste even has an Assist Mode where you can slow down time, give yourself infinite boosts, and if you need, turn on invincibility. The devs wrote no shame into that mode - you even earn full Trophies like you would on Normal. All this makes for a hyper-challenging platformer that for once feels like it is on your side.

That is, until you reach the ultimate bonus stages, where the therapy aspect falls apart and the true evil reveals itself.