Monday, June 11, 2012

Django Unchained Trailer

Once upon a time in Italy, there was a movie made called "Django", starring Franco Nero.  "Django" was a pretty lovely Spaghetti Western B-movie, which managed to be great little movie, mostly thanks to Franco Nero himself and its incomparably awesome theme song.  Yeah, it was low-budget, and yeah, it was ridiculous in a few parts, but "Django" became a legend of B-movies.  Its rumored that there have been over 100 unofficial sequels to this movie, most of which having absolutely nothing to do with the original.  Quentin Tarantino has joined in with the act, making "Django Unchained".  The trailer is out:

A few years ago, Tarantino made "Inglorious Bastards"*, where he gleefully murdered a lot of Nazis.  Now he's moving down on the list of politically correct historical villains, by targeting racist Southern slave-owners.  I suppose next he'll be fighting the Huns or Vlad Dracula.  This movie is what he calls a "Southern", by which its an Old Western that happens to be set in the South.

Now this trailer is exciting and awesome.  I kinda wish they used the old Django theme, but then again, every trailer could use the Django theme.  Its got loud Blackspoitation rifts, blood metaphorically splashing against cotton, and a roaring rampage of revenge across the South.  Most importantly though, its got Leonardo DiCaprio, playing the hammiest and most silly Southern villain since the advent of Kenneth Branaugh's Dr. Aliss Loveless.  I'm glad to see DiCaprio play a fun little character instead of his usual roles of being a super intense dude on the edge of going insane.  He needed this, I think, because otherwise his skull would have popped out of his head.

And I still have more to say:

I am a bit confused as to why Jamie Foxx is playing Django in this movie.  Because we live in an age where the greatest actor of all time is still working, Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson.  He is actually in this movie, playing a slave named Stephen**.  Why would you pick Jamie Foxx as the lead over L. Jackson?  Jackson puts asses in the seats, Jamie Foxx was the star of "Booty Call".  Will Smith was even considered for a time as the lead, and I wish he stuck around because I could have made even more "Wild Wild West" jokes.

Christopher Waltz is playing Django's White sidekick, some bounty hunter with an accent that is jumping all over the place.  I really don't know what Tarantino is trying to here, because this accent is completely inexplicable.  One begins to grow worried.

Hopefully, however, this movie is better than "Inglorious Bastards", which is a movie I really did not understand.  I didn't like it, it seemed like a mess to me.  This however, should be better.  Because I hate the Old South.  I kinda hate the current South too.  Southerners deserve to get blown up.  So we'll see lots of Antebellum blood be spilled on Christmas Day.

* I know how to spell, Quentin.

** Who in my fantasies I imagine will end up as the King of Faerie.

1 comment:

  1. This trailer actually lowered my expectations. For some reason I thought it would be actors galore like all the other Tarantino films. This one still looks like it has a lot of actors but, Jamie Foxx for example as you mentioned. He's a shitty actor. I don't get it.

    Eh, might be surprisingly amazing still.