Somewhere in the middle of Frozen II there is a solo song for Kristoff, Princess Anna’s reindeer-riding boyfriend from the first movie. It is the easily worst song of the movie. Kristoff has very little to do in the middle of this sequel’s complicated pile of plotlines. So Frozen II creates tension for him so he is not completely forgotten. His problem is an irritating running gag of being unable to propose successfully to Anna due to a variety of unfunny misunderstandings. (Think Spider-Man 3.) As Anna deals with her sister’s magical crisis and her kingdom’s colonialist legacy, poor Kristoff and his Disney Ending ambitions are left behind, forgotten. So, he feels bad. And he sings.
A better version of Frozen II would build something off this conflict. The Frozen II we got took this moment to do a five-minute parody of overwrought Nineties love ballads a la Richard Marx or Bryan Adams. Think that godawful song your mom might have listened to from the soundtrack of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. I think I was the only one in my audience who got the joke, and even I didn’t find it very funny. It’s a waste of time.
But the thing is, while this whole plot and this whole idea are mistakes, it isn’t a terrible song. It’d be pretty damn great on its own. Kristoff gets shafted by the complicated web of Frozen II’s many plotlines, but of course he would. Kristoff is least memorable cast member. I had to google “Frozen reindeer boyfriend” to remember his name when I was writing this review. Frozen II’s audience of little girls and late twenties men who are little girls in their hearts want to see Else be triumphant and hit high notes.
Problems and all, goddamn me if she doesn’t hit those notes and my spirit still soared. Frozen II is a movie so well-made that comparing it to 90s Direct to Video Disney sequels is downright offensive. No, it isn’t perfect and it isn’t nearly as good as the original. But there’s something powerful here. It’s a messy mixed-bag of a movie that fills me with a lot of emotions, positive and negative. But whatever those emotions are, I feel A LOT THEM.
Frozen II is a movie that is exactly as good as the sum of its parts. A lot of those parts are disappointing or imperfect, (or should have been cut altogether like the love ballad I started this review with). Yet by sheer addition of entertainment upon entertainment, it becomes a good movie. Frozen II is an exciting adventure movie. It wants to be a big epic of a musical with tons of exciting moments. There’s Elsa’s battle with the ocean you probably saw in trailers, which then leads to an even grander battle with a sea elemental. Some things are adorable like a little salamander Pokemon that leaves trail of purple alcoholic Flambé flames across the land.
But this leads me to this question: Can an unsuccessful sequel also be a decent movie?
Frozen II has two big Idina Menzel songs trying to be the new “Let it Go”. I don’t believe either will become as huge of hits. “Let It Go” was this incredible cultural moment of femininity and owning sexuality, with just a tantalizing hint of queer-coding. Whatever you think about it now, it’s got something like infinity billion views on Youtube. It was a force of nature that spoke to people at the time. Neither song is going to reach those heights, just as Frozen II is not nearly as good as Frozen I.
The better of these two “Let it Go” sequels, “Into the Unknown”, comes in the first twenty minutes. It’s already up on Youtube. I listened to it again a few times to get into the mood of writing this piece, and ended up obsessed with it. This is a song about Elsa’s struggle between the peaceful status quo that exists after the end of Frozen I and her own throbbing unsatisfied urges for… something. I can’t help but read some kind of LGBT sexuality in this song. It doesn’t help that Elsa is drawn to then begins harmonizing with an unknown female voice coming calling her away from her kingdom. The closer Elsa gets to following the voice, the more powerful Idina Menzel’s high notes get. It’s a conflict between the real Elsa and the more restrained Elsa she’s singing in the choruses. There’s a mask she’s wearing for her family and she needs to escape.
“Show Yourself” is effectively the climax of Elsa’s arc of self-discovery and a search for “somebody like her”. This is the conclusion of the mystery set up by “Into the Unknown” and sadly is a massively disappointment. “Show Yourself” isn’t a great song since I’ve already forgotten it just a day later. Elsa changes clothes again. The animation is beautiful. There’s even a call-back to “Let it Go” with an appropriate level of cringe on the Ice Queen’s face. Yet the song keeps building to something, a reveal that should redefine this character on the same level “Let it Go” did. But then at the big climax, you get… nothing. Lots of big singing, beautiful animation.
But one can’t help but feel: “Fuck, we went through this whole movie just for this?” This huge showstopper of self-actualization doesn’t go anywhere. What you find is less interesting than what you imagined. And I don’t believe this reveal solves anything with Elsa’s character. Ultimately you can’t recreate that same magic you felt in 2013. You can make it bigger. You can have Idina Menzel hit higher notes. It will always be a sequel. An inferior sequel. You just need to love the journey here, the destination isn’t quite worth it.
But then, Frozen II isn’t just about Elsa’s arc. It’s about a million other things. Anna is there struggling to chase after her sister. Rather reasonably, Elsa tells Anna to stay behind. After all, one of them is an ice-elemental superhero and the other has no powers at all. The movie never quite squares this circle of how their relationship should move on, if it should move on. It also never quite settles – even dares address openly – the issue of Kristoff fighting for Anna with Anna’s inability to let go. It doesn’t really solve anything it addresses.
Then the movie stumbles into a completely different story when it decides its really about imperialism of all things.
Frozen II creates a crisis involving Arendelle’s relationship with a race of magical natives to the far north. As it turns out, the interaction between an early modern European society and semi-nomadic people does not end happily. (See if you can guess where this is going.) In fact, the dark secrets of Elsa and Anna’s country are creating an impending crisis of environmental disaster, as exploiting the natural world has destroyed the balance of the elements. Frozen II now is talking about the urgent need for reparation and decolonization. Death Stranding wishes its anti-Imperialist message was this blunt.
So how exactly does imperialism fit into an unsatisfying journey of self-actualization, an almost co-dependent sister relationship, a bad Peter Cetera song, and a baby salamander? They don’t. None of these things fit. Then often enough, things just don’t make sense. There’s a dark third act twist that happens for reasons that aren’t clearly explained. Characters choose to go places in the conclusion and I don’t understand why those choices were made. We go to with THAT infamous scene from Avengers: Infinity War, you know the one. Yes, the movie really goes THERE.
But then, the “Mr. Anna… I don’t feel so good…” moment is shockingly well-done. Frozen II has so many balls to juggle that is becomes actively incoherent at times. Yet I really did get close to tears over this nonsense, even when I knew Disney wasn’t really going to kill off any these markable characters. I’m so lost in Frozen II’s blizzard of ideas and unfinished conflicts that I don’t know what movie Disney wanted to make. But why then was I still having such a great time?
The movie they made was a big thrilling mess that luckily suffers from over-ambition rather than under-ambition. If you need to fail, you should fail big and proud and gloriously. That way, you can accidentally stumble into a success anyway. It is just like going out to see a big Broadway musical with a few songs that don’t work, unnecessary characters, and blurry themes. It is flawed in the same way the Frozen stage musical is flawed. But who really cares when Elsa’s dress change moment has you and the whole theater giving a standing ovation? What does “theme” mean anyway? We’re putting on a SHOW. Olaf is making jokes, there’s big battle moments, and the songs gave me goosebumps.
I like big dumbass shows. I know the kids in the audience liked this show too, and didn’t really worry too much about how things didn’t fit together. My brain isn’t happy but my heart is. The “Into the Unknown” sequence alone might be enough to make me recommend Frozen II.
And that reminds me, stay for the end credits. Panic at the Disco does a rocking Bond Theme-style cover. Despite that sounding like a complete disaster too, it all somehow works.
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