So tonight is the Superbowl, the greatest and most important television event in all of human civilization. Normally on this blog, I wouldn't bother even mentioning its existence, because we focus on the more geeky fields of movies, anime, video games, and Doctor Who, but this year is special. Why? BECAUSE THE BRONCOS ARE GOING TO WIN. WOOOOT. LET'S GO BRONCOS!!!! PEYTON MANNING IS GOD'S ONLY SON, HE WILL SLAUGHTER THE SEAHAWKS WITH THE FURY OF A VOLCANIC ERUPTION.
See, I'm a nerd, I accept this. I have a Japanese sword, I keep Pokemon toys on my desk, I did a Let's Play once, there is no excuse for my level of geek. However, I watch football, because I'm also an American Man, and hearty cholesterol-thick blood flows through my veins. If the moment comes, I need to be ready to drop all my anime and join the marines to kill Nazis, Communists, or the Redcoats for Freedom, so to get myself mentally prepared, I watch the NFL, the greatest sporting event since gladiators fell out of fashion a few thousand years ago. But remember:
ALL SHALL BOW BEFORE THE GLORY OF THE BRONCOS!!!
Booooo! The Seahawks will rip your pretty ponies to shreds and spread the pieces evenly between Elmer's Glue factory and a generic can dog food factory. Except Manning. We shall keep him alive for our amusement.
ReplyDeleteNow way in hell. Denver is going to burn Seattle to the ground and wipe their asses with Grunge Rock CDs still unsold from the 90s. We'll sodomize Marshawn Lynch with the Space Needle and laugh as he tries to feebly Beast Mode several stories of steel girders out of his colon. We'll dump Russell Wilson in boiling tar and decorate him in Osprey feathers. And then we'll pour seven hundred gallons of Starbucks Frappuccino down Paul Allen's throat, and top it off with some 100% Grade A bucking bronco shit, right on his eyes.
DeleteThe Pacific Northwest is going to suffer a sacking like none have ever even imagined in this hemispheres. There will be none left to even mourn the fallen.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! See that Blue! Your little threat of giant spikes and anuses meant NOTHING! It was a brutal slaughtering and the Seahawks take home the decapitated head of the losers and use their skulls as emergency midnight toilets when they don't fill like turning on the lights and walking to the bathroom. KNEEEEEL BEFORE ZOD!!!
DeleteIts okay Blue.
Delete*Pats on back, there is always next year.
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Sword Of Primus
Whatever makes you happy guys. I would have preferred the Packers, but as long as its a good game that's all that matters.
ReplyDeleteHave a good time with the game.
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Sword Of Primus
Sports fans are just another kind of nerd, and it's high time that they accepted the fact.
ReplyDeletehttp://pann.nate.com/video/14899578
ReplyDeletewhat is a nerd, but a pink little turd.
ReplyDeletewhat is a sport, but a big yellow wart.
what is a show, just a lot a wormy dough
So wake up munchkin
wake up and smell the shit.