"Cowboy Bebop" is easily one of the best TV shows I have ever seen in my entire life. I don't even know if I should even call "Cowboy Bebop" an anime, because its so much more than that. Categorizing it with such a charged term as "anime" leads to so many preconceptions amongst people: those that hate anime won't bother, and those that like anime will jump at it even though it really isn't like any other show out there. Being easily the best work to come out of that cartoon style, "Cowboy Bebop" transcends anime. A label of any kind will only weaken its power. It would be as if I called it "a cartoon". To some the word "cartoon" immediately conjures up images of Saturday morning kids' shows and Disney sing-a-longs (not that there's anything wrong with either of those things), which is not fair at all to what "Cowboy Bebop" really is. Defining this title only damages it, all you can do is watch this show to understand its greatness.I really don't need to explain to you why a show about a bounty hunters in SPACE catching crooks with a wild west motif to the greatest soundtrack in human history is worst a watch, do I? Let me repeat that. Its the greatest soundtrack ever. EVER! Let me explain it this way: if you don't like the same things I like, I'm usually fine with it. However, there are three things in this world which you cannot dislike without being an absolute failure as a person: children, "The Lion King", and "Cowboy Bebop". If you don't like any of those things, get off my blog. You're not wanted here. Just watch "Cowboy Bebop", that's the point I'm making.
Last year Keanu Reeves of all people decided to announce that he was going to make a live action "Cowboy Bebop" movie, starring himself. This was met with almost universe groans from every single man, woman, and child on the Internet. Nobody had any faith in this project, nobody at all. I think "Dragonball Evolution" got a warmer response. I, of course, didn't feel worked up about this news at all. And its for one simple reason: live-action Hollywood adaptations of anime don't ever actually happen. You can count that as a Law of Nature.
A few years back I remember hearing about some producer's plan to turn "Neon Genesis Evangelion" into a live-action film starring American actors in an American story. The face I made when I heard about this movie has only been replicated once, and that was when I saw the trailer for Jack Black's "Gulliver's Travels", where the literary legacy of Johnathan Swift is anally raped for all of America to see. Then, when I was cognizant enough to form sentences, I had a few questions, namely: "WHY?? WHY??"
Beyond even just the fact that this guy was going to get everything wrong (just the very fact that its live-action shows how wrong this idea is), I really do not know what this producer was thinking. "Evangelion" is a superstar of anime fans. But think about that: "anime fans". That's not a big group, not really. Go around, ask people about "Evangelion", count the number of "what?"s you get before you find one person who knows what you're talking about. They're a pretty hard-core group as a whole, and will be offended by about anything - call a manga a "comic book" for one, or stare at them blank-eyed when they spout Japanesisms like "bishounen". So really anything you do that isn't absolutely 100% faithful to the series - a physical impossibility - will mean that you're only target audience will be furious at you.
Plus "Evangelion" isn't exactly an easy sell to an American audience. You have preteens fighting freaky monsters called "angels" in giant bio-robots who are filled with deep-seated neurosis and angst. Shinji isn't exactly the most "active" hero in the world either? How long do you think a theatre audience is going to deal with this antisocial loser before despising him? Just explaining the complex terminology and universe rules will take you an hour, at least not a good way to start a story. "Evangelion Rebuild" is going to take four movies* to fully get through the plot of the 26-episode series. This whole idea was flawed from concept, and if it did actually succeed in becoming a movie, it would have been one of the biggest box office failures of all time.
I know "Cowboy Bebop" as a TV show has universal appeal, but what will it be once Keanu Reeves gets through with it? I can't even fathom to imagine. Audiences only like adaptations of titles that they know and love: this is why "Scott Pilgrim" and "the Losers" both failed at the box office despite being great movies. Nobody on Earth has heard of even comic series, so why should they care that they're getting movies? I'm not defending movie audiences here (they should be ashamed of not seeing "Scott Pilgrim") but I am telling the studios what to expect if they make an anime movie: nothing.
The usual run of these "live-action adaptations" is this: studio quietly announces the film with maybe three names attached, the fans complain, and it goes nowhere. "Evangelion" isn't alone in this. There was also "Akira", "Battle Angel", "Voltron", "Ghost in the Shell", "Death Note"**, "Gatchaman", and "Bubblegum Crisis". How many of those projects have become movies? Answer: ZERO. Every one of them failed. Nothing came of any of these plans. And some of them are really obscure. I count myself as a real anime aficionado, but even I don't know what the heck "Battle Angel" or "Gatchaman" is. (Commenters, feel free to explain.) This probably isn't anywhere near the complete list too. God knows how many other projects went nowhere and were just flat-out forgotten.
To my knowledge, there have only been four live-action Hollywood adaptations of an anime series, and not one of them were at all decent in any way. There was 2008's "Speed Racer", a magnificent triumph of style and art-direction over storyline or characters. "Blood: The Last Vampire" was essentially the anime movie (which I didn't like) redone shot-for-shot with actors. Then there was "Dragonball: Evolution", a complete bastardization of the anime, and a mediocre kung-fu movie. That particular film is so well-hated that I fear that its very mention will unleash a torrent of burning fanboy fury upon my little humble blog. Finally there was the completely forgotten 1991 film, "Guyver" starring some guy who isn't Mark Hamill, though Mark Hamill got top-billing. This intensely bizarre movie is perhaps best remembered due to the fact that Mark Hamill gets turned into a monster cockroach.
Today I read that Keanu Reeves has admitted publicly that his "Cowboy Bebop" movie is "going nowhere". Big surprise that. I'd be thankful, if only I didn't see this coming an entire year ago. So now that that crap is passed, perhaps we can somehow convince Japan into giving the world a second season to "Cowboy Bebop"?
Please?
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* Speaking of which, where the Hell is my English release of "Rebuild 2.0"? I reviewed the first one about a year ago, it shouldn't take this long. "3.0" seems to be stuck in development hell, so maybe the recession killed this franchise halfway.
** Which actually did become a live-action film... in Japan. That doesn't really count, because it was a Hollywood studio that wanted to make it, and they never succeeded. No real hope for here though.
*SPOILERS*
ReplyDeleteA Second season of Cowboy Bebop.REALLY? Even after the main character...ya know DIED?
The only thing I could see happening is a spinoff featuring Ed and his/her adventures with his/her dad or something.
That or see how the remaining members of Bebop handle their lives.
Either way it wouldnt be nearly as good beacuse there is no Spike
This is anime. They have plenty of new series without any real explanation about how it fits into continuity. Full Metal Alchemist has two series. Tenchi Muyo! had like nine. None of that matters. You can start season 2 with the gang all together again without any explanation how they got there, and just keep having them catch Bounties for years and years.
ReplyDeleteThis is somewhat relevant (in that it also involves an anime): Do you know where I can find the dub of Ruroni Kenshin that was on Toonami? There's another dub on Hulu (renamed Samurai X), but the lines are awkward, the acting is wooden, and the voices are annoying. I managed to struggle through the first episode, skipped to Zamba's first appearance, and gave up the moment I heard his voice. While I only saw this show years ago on Toonami (the source of all my very limited experience with anime), I do remember that the dub on that version was far supirior.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you heard, but they are making a live action Pokemon movie, and there will be guns.
ReplyDeletehttp://shogungamer.com/news/live-action-pokemon-movie-full-hd-trailer-and-interview-its-creators
I'm horrified.
@YKProductions: I'm pretty sure Apokealypse was a fantrailer.
ReplyDelete"We are able to confirm there is not a Hollywood budgeted production of Pokemon happening."
I got that from the very site you linked. You're so silly, YK! Tee-hee.
@Nicholas: Search Anime Freak. I was able to watch the dub there last spring, if I remember correctly. You can only watch about three episodes at a time though, unless you want to spend money and become a member.
ReplyDelete@SideburnsPuppy: Fan-Trailer, or a possible fan-made film?
ReplyDeleteBattle Angel Alita is a really good manga, but I for one couldn't even get through one episode of Evangelion without despising Shinji.
ReplyDeleteXYZ
Well, you know about the complete failure as a person if you don't like children thing...What about those spoilt rich kids that can make their parents do anything? You know the ones that go "Daddy, that boy said mean things to me and beated me up waaaaah!" but in actual fact that boy just got kicked in the nuts by that little kid? Yeah I hate them. With a Vengance.
ReplyDeleteR8, that doesn't matter, having your own child should be the greatest feeling in the world, and whether it's a brat or not it's still your child.
ReplyDeleteNo I meant other children. If I do have a kid I'll probably like him/her.
ReplyDeleteHey, you were a child once, maybe a brat. I know I certainly didn't like the grumpy bastards who didn't like me fooling around :D
ReplyDeleteBlue, stop teasing us with Fanfic quotes and then not delivering tasteful re-writes. It makes puppies cry.
ReplyDeleteTragically I can't really deliver on more tasteful rewrites, I think. I could try a tasteful rewrite of a story I read where Tifa gives birth to a Chocobo.... But would be pretty difficult.
ReplyDeleteHey, that's not entirely true about anime live action movies not making any money. Love it or hate it, Avatar the Last Air Bender by M.Knight Shamalamalamamamamwhateverthefuckhisnameis made like 300 million and its production budget was 150 million. Not a bad take and that doesn't include DVD sales. Sure, it's an American rip off anime stylized series on Dikelodeon, but it was financially successful. The younger kids loved it and that's all it takes really for that kind of movie. We all know that in the end it's all about the money, but still it's mostly how well it's written and directed. The big problem with the crapfest known as Dragonball evolution was that they took an ethnically Japanese character and put a dopey white kid in it with a mostly western cast and a couple of asians sprinkled here and there. If they had gone with an all Asian cast and stayed faithful to the origin of the series, then it may have worked. A white kid is not going to be named Goku. It's too hard to accept it, call it racism or whatever, but it's human nature to want to associate the correct ethnicity with the right character. We are visual creatures. With shows like FullMetal Alchemist and Cowboy Bebop, the characters already are either European or American and can easily translate into the American market and also have international appeal.
ReplyDeleteSorry Asian readers, but very few Asian made movies ever translate in to mega success in the US, Europe and abroad, especially subtitled anime based live action movies, I own several live action anime based movies imported from Japan. I watch alot of Hong Kong cinema too. There are no American actors unless the original storyline calls for one such as the Death Note movies. So I think you are wrong about Bebop or FMA being total losers on the American big screen. You just need the right writer and director and producer team behind it and you can end up with a Dark Knight movie gross in the end. Hell, James Cameron took over a decade to come up with Avatar and that's a completely new storyline with no history in anime or anything at all. He put half a billion dollars into making it and we all know the ton of cash that movie brought it.