Another Fall, another Kingdom Hearts game, another stupid-sounding title. Yay, life!So we all already know that Kingdom Hearts has been awesome for years now, that needs no further explaining. If you aren't aware of the amazing appeal of Kingdom Hearts, please stop reading this review right now and spend the next week or so shut off from the rest of the world blasting through at least "Kingdom Hearts I" and "Kingdom Hearts II". I can wait... (Dum dum dum da dum) Okay, its a week later. Awesome right? Yeah, I thought so. And I bet you want to play more of this series, huh? Well, that's why Square Enix decided to create "Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep" for you, a game definitely of equal measure to the other two games listed above. Only one problem... its on the PlayStation Portable.
Not that anybody is going to be surprised by this judgment call, but the PSP has clearly lost the battle against the Nintendo DS. Everybody on Earth has a DS, I'm probably the only for miles who has a PSP. Yeah, the PSP certainly has the stronger graphical and memory abilities - its graphics blew me away the moment I bought it and still continue to surprise - but its definitely a flawed piece of machinery (for one its too darn fragile). And I don't think any one title reveals all the PSP's successes and failures better than "Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep". For one, the graphics are amazing. This game looks as good as "Kingdom Hearts 1" did on a console half a decade ago. Unlike "358/2 Days", the DS Kindom Hearts that came out last year (my review), this game doesn't shrink Kingdom Hearts down into a smaller mobile form, it is a fully fledge title of massive scale and scope. However, in order to fit all that action and awesomeness, there are load times. Huge ones. And tons of them.
If you're wondering why I've waited two weeks before reviewing this game, I have only one answer for you: I'm not getting paid for this, I can take my damn time. How many of you are really basing your purchasing decisions upon my recommendations anyway?
So here's the plot: its ten years before the events of "Kingdom Hearts I" and so instead of Sora, our heroes are a trio of three Keyblade Masters-in-Training named Aqua, Terra, and
At the beginning of the game, Aqua and Terra have their Master's Exam, but only Aqua graduates. Their Master seems okay enough (voiced by Mark Hamill), but his colleague Master Xehanort is the most obviously evil dude in the history of Obvious Evil. He's hunched-over, bald, has a goatee, yellow eyes, and shares the name with the central antagonist from the games that occur sequentially in this series. Not to mention that the opening movie shows him fighting the three heroes. I wonder who the bad guy might be? Doy! Its worth noting that Xehanort is played by none other than Leonard Nimoy, which is totally awesome. Xehanort also hangs with a strange short boy named Vanitas who dresses up like Spawn, and is just as obviously evil. He keeps his face covered, leaving his true identity a mystery. Also, instead of Heartless, we have Unversed*, basically the same thing, only bluer. Its never made clear exactly what these things are, and as of yet, nobody seems all that interested that they're even around. Whatever, as long as I have demons to slay, I can dig it.
Ultimately the plot has a lot of open questions coming into it. You know for a fact that none of the three heroes can be around for "Kingdom Hearts I", so that leaves a great feeling dread over all the proceedings. Even while Ven is running around happily planning to fix things with his friends, you know that can't happen. This game has plenty of mysteries to answer, and a few of its own to give, bringing forward the next chapter of the series.
By "358/2 Days" the Worlds you visit were starting to get a bit stale for this series. I mean, I love Aladdin, I love Abu, but how many times do I need to visit Agrabah? So for this game every World has a largely original design and most of them are completely new. Instead of "Aladdin" again we have "Sleeping Beauty", "Snow White", and "Cinderella". This is classic Disney right here, and I wish the whole game kept to that theme. Then we have Hercules Land... again. Uch. But "Lilo and Stitch" (or half of that title) make an appearance, so it evens out!
Why no Pixar though? There are so many great worlds you can make out of Pixar movies. Square Enix is wasting a great opportunity here. If the next game has "Hercules"** again but no "Toy Story", I will be very unhappy.
The gameplay remains roughly the same, with a few tweaks that I think are mandatory for an Square Enix game. These guys physically cannot make the same game twice, they always have to do something different, for better and all too often for worse. "358/2 Days" had some really great ideas like Panels and the Limit Breaks... both of which are gone here and probably will never return. Square Enix is mentally incapable of looking at their previous games, judging what worked and what didn't, and moving from there. Instead they constantly tweak around with all sorts of crazy ideas.
For "Birth by Sleep" we once again have a very different battle system, and really I can't say any of the changes were for the better. In "Kingdom Hearts 1" and "2", you had one giant menu from which you could pick any attack you want - assuming you can fight the menus and find it. Here you can pick only a few moves and put them in a "Deck", and you can use them endlessly - after a load time. So I just fill it up with spells and Hi-Potions, I'm assuming there's a huge amount of customization here. What this means though is that toggling spells to the shoulder buttons is gone. You can't just use L and X as a shortcut for Curaga anymore - which is sad. Along with the Decks you create, you can sometimes borrow the abilities of side characters like, say Mickey Mouse or Peter Pan using a "D-Link" in what is without a doubt the most pointless addition to the battle system. You also now have a bar that quickly fills up with each hit that eventually leads to a Finisher Move, a slightly stronger attack, which is either a Godsend or a hindrance depending upon which Finisher you have and the situation. Randomly instead of a Finisher the character will jump into a super mode called a "Command Style" which allows you to deal more damage for a time. And if that isn't enough of a Limit Break for you, there's also Shotlocks, a strange FPS shooter attack where you can target enemies using a lock attack move. These are a bit of trouble to get used to. I kept on forgetting I even had Shotlocks, so yeah.
But really none of these changes matter, since the core Kingdom Hearts style combat remains just as strong as ever. The fights are fun and challenging - especially the bosses. I haven't met a pushover boss yet. The first Vanitas boss fight with Ven ranks among the best of the entire series. The worlds are far more open then they were in "Kingdom Hearts II" - you can actually explore instead of just running from cutscene to cutscene.
On the other hand... when the game decides to throw out different gameplay modes, that's when PSPs get thrown across the room. This game is home to all the old favorites amongst pointless mandatory minigames: like escort missions, a fucking STUPID ice cream rhythm game - to the tune of the world's most annoying song no less, and really a half-assed space combat system which was so poorly executed it wisely was limited to like two appearances. I'm going to say this right here and right now, whoever's idea it was to include Escort Missions deserves a special place in Hell. May they suffer for all eternity. At least there hasn't been a Stealth Mission or a Card Game yet, or else we'd hit the Mother Load of shitty annoying extras. There's also this Monopoly rip-off Command Board thing which I hear is actually a lot of fun. If I ever feel like a boring enough person to stop slaying monsters and instead play a board game, I'll have more to say on this. Don't wait.
My only real complaint is the fact this is on the PSP. I don't understand why they did that. Nothing about this game is at all designed for mobile gameplay - especially not the cutscenes. You really can't play this game with the sound muted on the bus, can you? "358/2 Days" was specifically designed into very tiny chunks of gameplay that worked really well with the DS. You can easily play that title while watching TV or commuting or waiting in line. This one... not so much. Its a fully-fledged Kingdom Hearts game, and you need to pay attention to soak it all in. Plus there's the load times - they're incredible. I like to play this game with a beer on the counter next to me and take a drink in between every minute long load screen. I really think it would have been better served to be on the Wii or even the PS2 or something. Plus, how many people won't play this game because they don't own a PSP? Its a sizable number.
Some minor fanboy wankism: Why doesn't this game have its own theme song? It had to borrow the "Kingdom Hearts I" theme! "358/2 Days" did the same with Sanctuary. Is Hikaru Utada (the chick that sings the theme songs) so hard to deal with? Whatever she asked for, pay it, or hire somebody who sounds roughly the same. We need new theme music. On a more positive note, you do get to see the human versions of a good portion of Organization XIII. My favorite is human Zexion - he's so little! I wanna hug him! Another issue I have is the lack of Final Fantasy characters. "358/2 Days" didn't have any at all and this game only has... Zack from "Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII". Uch, why Zack? Couldn't we get some Balthier action in here? FFXIII just came out, why no Lightning cameo?
At the very least the remixed version of "Crisis Core"'s theme song in goofy Kingdom Hearts style is a great laugh. Just listening to it is like musical therapy for me. ...I don't have many good memories from "Crisis Core" - I needed this.
So ultimately "Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep" doesn't exactly reinvent the series, but its still a really decent title. Worth every penny. I'm going to start playing again once I finish this sentence. You see, Square Enix can do good games with realistic dialogue, human characters, and coherent plots these days. They just choose not to sometimes. And we all suffer for it.
See you guys next fall when presumably "Kingdom Hearts Re:Coded" for the DS will finally be translated. God knows why that always takes that long...
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* The original transliteration of "Unversed" was "Unbirths". That was wisely changed.
** As a movie "Hercules" was absolute crap - this one really marked the turning point for Disney past its golden age of "Lion King" and "Beauty and the Beast" to its garbage period of "Meet the Robinsons" and "Home on the Range". It has one good song: I Won't Say I'm in Love. It has one good character: James Woods' Hades. And the jokes are terrible. Like Phil's running joke of saying "I have just X number of words for you" and then not getting anywhere near that number. That wasn't funny in 1997 and it sure as heck isn't funny in 2010 when "Birth by Sleep" has him do it again. (It wasn't funny in "Armageddon" either for that matter.) Please, no more "Hercules". Find some other way to have a Colosseum in your games.
I notice some parallels between Aqua's outfit and that of Kuja from Final Fantasy IX. Unsurprisingly, it looks much better on a woman.
ReplyDeleteDid you try installing the game to your PSP? Or are they even that bad after being installed?
ReplyDeleteI don't got the Memory to install it, sadly. That might have made things move quicker, but I can't.
ReplyDeleteI think I might wait for a Re:Birth by Sleep instead of rushing out and buying a PSP. I also totally spoiled the story for myself (jumped onto a forum looking for speculation last summer, without realizing it was already out in Japan), so there's a bit less incentive.
ReplyDeleteI think the Deck Command system sounds good, though. I thought the best parts of the original Kingdom Hearts were abilities like Strike Raid, Sonic Blade, and Ars Arcanum. I also really liked the sleights in Chain of Memories, so I was looking forward to the more diverse skills in Birth by Sleep.
Fun fact: Square Enix actually did decide that Aqua was too sexy, so they covered up some of her back from the original gameplay trailer.
Why can't Square put all this shit on the PS3. Seriously, I'd totally get Birth by Sleep and even the sequel to Dissidia if it were on the PS3. Cmon Sony, why does the PSP get so many better games from Square, FFXIII I decided not to buy because of people telling me I'd be disappointed. I had a PSP, sister punted it across my living room and it smashed to pieces.
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Well, First Blue ... I guess I should say that I don't mind the Hercules world. I don't exactly like it. Hell, I don't even think they can even find a way to expand on the story of Hercules. His character has already hit its peak of development. Combine that with Auron's "self-sending" and I think that poor Herc has too much against him.
ReplyDeletemaybe a cameo, I don't know...
Next, I hated 358/2 days. It told me nothing I didn't learn from KH2. If I say I went to get a bite to eat and the only place near us is McDonald's, wouldn't you assume I got food at F#cking McDonald's? The game's kinda like me sitting you down and telling you the story of how I got food, all while you say "I kinda figured. Yea, that's what I guessed. Really? you met John Lennon? What do you mean he erased everyone's minds before going back down to the grave? So you mean it's like it never happened? THEN WHY DID YOU TELL ME!?"
Finally, am I the only one who hasn't noticed this? Kingdom Hearts is nothing more than a school kid's fanfiction. I know there have been jokes about how it sounds shaky on paper, but think about it. Read the premise to your self, but replace all KH exclusive character's name's with weirder names, the Keyblade with some Bullshit sword, and BAM! Shitty fanfic. I still love it though.
Z-Rune
Try and get a nice memory card to install the game if you can in the future. It's worth it, when load times from as bad as they are for you now go to around the load times that FFXII had.
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