[This is an actual email I've sent to Senator Ted Cruz.]
Dear Ted Cruz:
My name is Eric Fuchs, and I am a voter. You do not represent me, as I do not live in the state of Texas, but as a United States Senator, and an officer of the federal government, you ultimately are accountable to every citizen. You may think you represent only the right-wing spectrum of this country, and you may consider all those who do not attend your rallies to be enemies, but for better or for worse, you are in my government. And you have taken responsibility for the welfare of not only myself but hundreds of millions of other Americans, most of whom - if given the chance - would vote you very swiftly out of office. But that is not the system we live in.
The government shutdown was not solely your responsibility, and frankly, more blame belongs on the shoulders of the House of Representatives than yourself personally. But nobody in this country has benefited as greatly as you have from this government shut down. It was your grandstanding in the Senate in a confusing twenty-one hour pseudo-filibuster that really galvanized your party to shut down the government in an ultimately failed attempted to defund the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare). And at no point have you ever stated that you are not responsible for the government shut down, or have you stated regret for that government shut down, or have you done or said anything that has allayed this crisis. You've gone out in front and owned this crisis. Though I'm sure you can find plenty of blame to go around in your party, so don't panic when you read the next paragraph.
Standard & Poor's has estimated that the cost of this government shut down for the sixteen days it has lasted has cost the entire American economy some $24 billion dollars. We, the American voters, did not want to spend $24 billion on a government shut down, we grew tired of these endless idiotic Washington battles back in 2011. But you did it anyway, without our consent. We are helpless before non-functional government, which you are all too proud to stand up in front of and celebrate. In a parliamentary system you would be looking for a new job now. Either way, the latest estimates for the population of the United States is some 313.9 million people. $24 billion divided up amongst 313.9 million adds up to about $76.45, rounding down to the nearest cent. This means that thanks to the government shut down, which has made you a household name now, you personally owe me and the rest of the American people seventy-six dollars and forty six cents.
I can accept cash or check.
Thank you, Eric Fuchs