X

Why is it that so many years later this movie still bugs me?

"X" is a long-running manga series that was adapted into an absolutely terrible movie back all the way in 1996.  However since back in 1996 nobody on my continent cared about anime except for three dudes on the Internet, it took four years before the movie made it to America.  And it even got a limited release in the US back in 2000.  It wasn't until... 2005, I thiink, that I ever actually caught this movie on Starz.  Anyway, "X" is a massively complex story with around six hundred million named important characters all fighting an epic battle of Good vs. Evil that will decide the fate of the universe.  Being huge and complex, adaptating this story into a ninety-seven film is quite frankly impossible.  So as you'd expect, the movie is really confusing if you watch it knowing nothing about the "X" saga (which I didn't and still largely don't) because there are tons of named characters and a lot of really complicated rules you have to learn while trying to meet and care about characters.  Actually the movie is a mess, and the English dub doesn't make anything better - its the second worst dub I've ever heard in my life*.  I wouldn't recommend it on any level.

So that's exactly the thing that lead me to write this post.  I've seen dozens of shitty anime movies.  As matter of fact, I have plenty of fingers to list all the good anime films I've seen - all but two of them were made by Miyazakis.  But while I've complete forgotten mindless crap like "Eureka 7: The Movie", for some reason "X" is the movie that keeps me up at night.  There are even really good movie that I saw in 2005 that I've forgotten largely, like "Good Night and Good Luck".  What is with this stupid little movie?

Hopefully the End

Fulfilling a campaign promise, President Barack Obama* has begun a massive draw-down of US forces from Iraq, semi-officially ending the seven year conflict that has raged in that nation since our invasion back in 2003.  Of course, our last President, George W. Bush, in typical oblivious form, declared "Mission Accomplished" on board the USS Abraham Lincoln only several weeks after the US first invaded.  Yes, Saddam Hussein was gone, his government ousted, the Baathist forces defeated forever, but we all know painfully well that the war was far from over.  Obama, preferring not to repeat his predecessor's... um... let's find a diplomatic phrase and call it "enthusiasm", will probably not be dramatically flying onto a Nimitz-class nuclear powered war ship and then enjoying a victory party, as much fun as that would be.  However, as low-key as this affair might be, its still a major turning point in the history of Iraq, and the United States as well.

But even though this moment may indeed be a signal to the end of the war, one cannot help but be worried.  Iraq for most of these seven years as been a nation-state in complete chaos.  And ultimately I really do think that most of the blame for the initial failures of Operation Iraqi Freedom stemmed directly from the Bush Administration itself.  Remember, these are the people who convinced themselves that Iraq held Weapons of Mass Destruction - the real world was never much of a concern for that organization.  For years the situation was allowed to fester and the country was allowed to fall to pieces purely because there just weren't enough security forces on the ground to take control of the situation.  Now that the Surge (which I'll admit I never believed in until it worked) had ended, its truly a worrisome prospect whether the country can hold together without a military occupation.

I suppose all you can do is pray and hope for our country, the Iraqis, and indeed for the entire world - and it is the world's problem, even if most of us can ignore it - that Iraq can hold together and the country can survive intact and peacefully.  Obama might be signing this country's death warrant or perhaps leading it towards a great new period in its history.  Its impossible to tell at this point.  All we can do is hope.

That's all I got:  no real conclusion, no real argument, not even particularly eloquent, just a prayer.

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* Two years into his presidency, its worth noting, Obama name still gets readlined by Firefox's spellcheck, hilariously.  Of course, Firefox's spellcheck sucks to begin with.  It doesn't think that "teleport" is a word either.

Magicite Madness II

This Friday at the Final Fantasy Wiki, I and a certain lizard-creature named "Drake Clawfang" will be co-hosting a Final Fantasy character tournament, named "Magicite Madness II".  Three years ago (or maybe longer) the wiki held a tournament called "Magicite Madness" where dozens of classic and not-so-classic Final Fantasy characters came together and had an epic brawl for supremacy.  In the end, only one character could possibly have been voted No. 1, and that was Vivi.

Now, I don't think that the tastes of the Final Fantasy fandom have changed much, but the tournament was silly fun and was probably worth repeating.  So 256 characters have been picked from all across the Final Fantasy epochs, both good and bad, famous and obscure, to come together and fight in glorious battle for the chance to dethrone Vivi as the Ultimate Champion of the Universe.

So this coming Friday, come by the Final Fantasy Wiki and get voting.  Only you can decide who the champion will be.  Enjoy.

LONG LIVE THE FIGHTERS!

ツ

The Expendables

Is there any point to even write a review of this one?  Spoony pretty much summed up everything that needs to be said in his review.  So let's just cut to the point:  "The Expendables" is not good.  It just isn't.  If you really must see a popcorn goofy 80s action movie, there's "Predator 3" from earlier this summer.  There's no tension, no real threat, no serious enemy that can threaten the heroes, and well you get right down to it:  no point.

At first, when I was watching this movie, I was just a bit unentertained.  I was going to simply let it off with a pass:  "not my kind of movie", "worth a rent", "if you have sexual fantasies involving Sylvester Stallone, here's your film".  But I've soured on this, and soured fast.  I wasn't expecting Shakespeare, I wasn't expecting a timeless classic, but I was expecting fun.  And this movie just isn't fun.  The action is messy:  hard and gritty but completely artless and unexciting.  There are tons of explosions, lots of deaths, lots of punches thrown, but no real soul to any of it.  The movie is just not well shot.  The story is just not convincing or interesting or worth anybody's time.  And the characters just aren't any good.

Plus, arguably worst of all, this movie is just too damn loud.  For some reason or another, this movie was just several decibels higher than even the loudest movies I've seen.  Every other shot has an explosion or gunshots or loud punches or engines roaring or some other loud noise.  As I'm writing this, I have a splitting headache, all thanks to this stupid movie.  I think my brain is trying to dig itself out of my skull.  There are movies that are mediocre and pointless, and then there are the mediocre and pointless movies that are physically painful to experience.

Tales From Earthsea

Can somebody please explain to me why the Japanese hated this one so much?

"Tales From Earthsea" is the latest* movie released by the legendary Japanese animation house, Studio Ghibli.  And it also is easily their most hated film yet.  It won Japan's Worst Movie of the Year award for 2006.  Goro Miyazaki, son of legendary "Japanese Walt Disney" Hayao Miyazaki, won Worst Director.  That's a seriously negative reaction right there.  Rotten Tomatoes gives this film a 39% approval, which is only but a few points lower than Obama's current standing in the daily political popularity contests.  Why?  I honestly don't see how this movie is massively worse than Studio Ghibli's usual work.

Going to see this movie today, I really had a very mixed feeling.  There was a lot going against this movie.  Miyazaki Jr. had never directed a movie ever before and seemed to only get his job through nepotism thanks to his illustrious father.  Then there was the negative reception.  Even the author of the fantasy novels which this movie is based on, Ursula K. LeGuin, didn't like the many changes from her original work.  Having never even heard of "Earthsea" before this movie, I can't really vouch from the film's faithfulness**.  I can say this, unlike the careless SciFi network, Goro Miyazaki seems to have legitimately wanted to please LeGuin with his work, though its now clear he didn't really succeed.  Fans of "Earthsea" probably won't like the changes made.  But despite the seemingly dark cloud surrounding the film, I still decided to go on an epic quest to go see it.  To my surprise, it was an excellent little movie, even brilliant at times.  I give it a very high recommendation.

So why all the hate?