Now as a "Predator 3" this movie gives just about everything you can ask for. The best killers from around the world are abducted by aliens and brought to a foreign planet that is actually an intergalactic game reserve... with the humans as the game. So amongst this group is Adrian Brody - ex-Black Ops, Token Attractive Female - Israeli Defense Force, that Angry Mexican Man from Every Robert Rodriguez Movie Ever (by the way, this is a Robert Rodriguez movie) - Drug Cartels, a death row convict, an African Death Squad member, a Russian square-face action figure, a quiet Yakuza Dude who just stepped out of the panels of a Japanese manga, and.... Eric from "That 70s Show"(??) - who just so happens to be the most likable character in the whole bunch. What's Eric's power? Well, he's a doctor and the rest is this movie's little secret. This strange crew is para-dropped onto the alien planet, and immediately try to figure out just who or what sent them there. Luckily Adrian Brody has seen the trailer on TV just like the rest of the United States, so he pieces it together fairly quickly.
So what occurs is all fairly formulaic: gang of misfit soldiers fight each other for a second, gang of misfit soldiers piece everything together, gang of misfit soldiers fight aliens. Adrian Brody starts out being a real cold jerk, but you know in the 11th hour he's going to turn a corner and save Token Attractive Female. Also, despite how strong they try to make Token Attractive Female, you know at some point she's going to have to be saved by Adrian Brody. What really kept my interest in this movie is Eric. I knew he couldn't just be a civilian, and his ultimate place in the plot made for an interesting unknown. Tragically I called the twist anyway, but I could at least hope they would do something more interesting (they didn't). But despite even that, "Predator 3", is still one of the best action films I've seen in awhile, and the second best movie I've seen all year.
Now why is this movie better than say "Iron Man 2" or "Prince of Persia"? Honestly that's a very hard question to answer, as all three are basically brainless action movies. Yet "Predator 3" pulls superior only in the fact of how much more honest it is with itself. It all comes down to the rating: this is rated R, those others are PG-13. Never have a brainless action movie rated PG-13, unless you're going to add something. Maybe your movie is an action comedy like "Pirates of the Caribbean", or "Sherlock Holmes". "Prince of Persia" wanted to be funny, but it wasn't. "Iron Man 2" had a lot of promise, but it didn't do anything with the character. Here is just a movie that gives exactly what it advertises: a bloody action movie where the heroes actually are allowed to say.... (swoon) cuss words!
An important note for those not in the know: The aliens in this movie are called, well nothing. The fanbase just calls them "Predators". Actually they've never been given a name beyond "you're one big ugly motherfucker!" - Danny Glover from the second movie. Predators are a species that have mastered interstellar flight, advanced weaponry, and even can terraform a planet apparently, but still are obsessed with the tribal mindset. They kill humans not because we're a threat, but because we're "the most dangerous game". These creatures are dangerous enemies because they can become invisible and have laser weapons, not to mention that they are master fighters in of themselves. So even though there are only three** Predators (get the title now?) against eight humans, you can tell that things are going to get nasty. In the other movies, the humans could barely defeat just one. And the humans do die - a lot. That's another point in this movie's favor: its not afraid to kill off characters like say "Prince of Persia" which needed to retcon its own story in a final saving throw. Lame. Here's a movie where you know characters are going to die and where you actually do not know whether your favorites are going to survive.
Let's deal with the issue of whether this movie is a retcon or not. "Rotten Tomatoes" claims this to be a "reboot" of the franchise which is clearly untrue. The movie makes direct mention of the events of "Predator 1", so it has to be a sequel. However, I'm a little unsure of whether its in the same universe as "Predator 2". It kinda doesn't make any mention of the alien attack during the Los Angeles gang civil war of '97 - a historical detail the 1990 movie "Predator 2" was just a tad bit inaccurate with, by which I mean it never happened. I mean, in "Predator 2" the government sent out a team led by Gary Busey to capture a Predator. I think that should bare a mention here. It also doesn't really make much sense to me why Predators would come to Earth alone to hunt when they could just come to this game reserve. Maybe the first two Predators are the really hard core ones who won't take the BS "Disneyland" Earth and need the real thing. There's also something of a plot hole here because Predators never hunt unarmed/non-threatening targets: this was established in the first two movies. But Eric is completely unarmed except for a scalpel or two. Yet he's in harm's way as much as anybody else. Why they'd kidnap such helpless prey? Seems unsporting to me.
So here's a movie where a death row convict shivs a Predator right in the throat. Here's a movie where the Yakuza guy suddenly has a totally random samurai katana duel with a Predator. Here's a movie that either recycles the soundtrack from the original, or does its very best to make make a nice "Star Wars"-style 80s background theme. Not to mention the fairly cool Laurence Fishburne appearance half way through. Just to drive the whole point home, just look at the opening. The movie opens with Adrian Brody in freefall. If that's not awesome enough, only seconds after his shoot deploys and he hits the ground, the title card jump cuts onto the screen. Its blasted at your face so hard that I think some audience members broke their necks. This is that kind of movie. If you don't like the idea of a popcorn and blood action film straight out of a long lost era, then this isn't for you. But even so, this is a fun movie. Not a work of art, but still really fun.
My major complaint is actually in the ending, which has a series of plot twists that I simply didn't buy. And yeah, it involves Adrian Brody coming back to save Token Attractive Female. I won't go into detail here, but we'll discuss this more in the Fanwank Corner section below to avoid spoilers. It didn't ruin the movie for me, but its definitely the worst check against it. Even so, I'll still be around happily for "Predator 4".
Fanwank Corner: (SPOILER ALERT) It turns out that seemingly harmless Eric is actually a serial killer with a knowledge of neurotoxins, making him essentially the Scarecrow from Batman. Token Attractive Female tries to protect him, while Adrian Brody just goes to the alien ship alone trying to get home. Eric, being completely out of his mind, decides that he wants to be a Predator himself. So he paralyzes Token Attractive Female with a neurotoxin, and now that he's alone he's going to enjoy chopping her up nice and slowly. However, Adrian Brody comes back - he didn't get on the spaceship. All movie all this guy wants to do is survive, and has been shown willing to sacrifice anybody to live. Actually, Adrian Brody has been a dick all movie and is just a bit unlikable. Yet at the last second, for no reason the guy suddenly changes his mind. Maybe his heart grew three sizes that second. So Eric is defeated easily, Token Attractive Female is saved, and then Adrian Brody has a final fight with the last Predator. Guess who wins.
My real problem is that actually Eric was my favorite character the whole time. For one, he had no weapons, and no combat experience, so there were some times I really thought he was just finished. But he survived anyway, only to suddenly turn out to be a crazy psycho killer... who still really wasn't all that much of a threat. Yeah, he could be dangerous if he gained your trust, but I don't think he'd be gaining all that much trust of a Predator who loves hunting man. The Predators have to know how evil he is anyway, or else they wouldn't have brought him. Again, its really pointless to send this guy to this planet, because he'll never be a good hunt. Yeah, the movie tries to make a metaphor about how the humans are just as much Predators as the aliens, but its half-hearted. Eric is the only real representation of a truly evil human but he's as much of a threat here as he was in "Spider-Man 3". I mean, if he is going to turn out to be more dangerous than he seems, at least give him a combat ability or two. Or just leave him as a normal character and explain that the Predators always take a medic along with the human teams they drop in. He was fine as a straight-man who is out of his element compared these super macho para-military types.
But if he MUST be a psycho killer, I think the perfect ending would have been Adrian Brody flying away, and then leaving Eric alone with Token Attractive Female, where he would have had a "Saw"-style final twist. Suddenly you see him with the scalpel and then the movie rapidly flashes back all of his lines throughout the movie which turn out to be foreshadowing. Then it ends with Eric saying "you see, I am a Predator" while holding his sharp knife with Token Attractive Female having on place to run. Curtains. That's what you do if you want to say that humans are no better than the aliens! Show them doing something horrible.
Or in the end it just turns out that Eric still has the Alien Symbiote from "Spider-Man 3". Curtains.
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* "Alien vs. Predator" and "Alien vs. Predator 2" do not count. Those movies are garbage for one; truly awful action films. But for two, the producers of "Predator 3" have expressly stated that this is a sequel only to the Predator movies, without any Aliens involved. Basically those movies have been cut right out of the story and in a metafictional sense "never happened". Since I'd prefer a universe without "Alien vs. Predator", I'm willing to accept all of this. However, I think this movie might also be erasing "Predator 2" from the equation, which I am very much not going to accept! You never erase an awesome movie starring Danny Glover! NEVER!
By the way, "Superman and Batman vs. Alien and Predator" would have made an awesome movie.
** In the trailers there's a cool scene where Adrian Brody is caught in a at least seven Predator laser sights, which you can see all over his body. He has this great "oh shit..." look on his face too. This implies that there are a lot of Predators, even though there's only three in the movie (well four, but that last one isn't with the others). The actual scene only has a single laser sight because Adrian Brody is only being targeted by one Predator. I hate when movies show things in the commercials but don't have them in the movie, even if this is a very mild case. But still...
I was so excited when I saw Eric, but my excitement perished when I saw "from "That 70s Show"(??)."
ReplyDelete--Darcy