Saturday, February 8, 2014

Vampire Academy

"Vampire Academy", as its poster proudly states, is from Mark Waters, the director of "Mean Girls" and his older brother, Daniel Waters, the writer of "Heathers"*.  So for a film adaptation of yet another young adult supernatural fantasy series - there appears to be eight more supposedly "massively successful" ones every week - "Vampire Academy" has everything going for it:  a man who directed a clever and unique high school comedy about vapid girls, and a man who wrote a clever and unique comedy about murdering vapid girls and blowing up a high school.  This could be a great dark comedy, perhaps putting a more silly and more disturbing spin on "Twilight" wanna-be's.  But its not.  Its everything those Twilight-spawn have been and so much less.  Obviously both of the Water Brothers left their talent at home, because "Vampire Academy" is a fucking piece of shit.

"Vampire Academy" is such a bad movie that this review is  going to be a special challenge for me as an author, because I need to explain how bad it is.  You knew it was bad just by reading the title, but you're still not prepared for how unholy this production is.  I've seen some bad movies this year already but compared to "Vampire's Academy", things like "Devil's Due" were a joy.  I'd watch "Devil's Due" seven times as my teeth were torn out by Nazi doctors with knives for fingers than watch "Vampire Academy" ever again.  I spent this whole movie with waves of agony spreading down my whole body, as my hairs stood on-end, my eyes teared, and my mouth hung wide open while I muttered under my breath over and over "what the fuck? what the fuck?"  Usually when a movie is bad, its bad in typical and predictable ways:  lazy screenwriting, bad acting, poor special effects, a simple lack of care.  But "Vampire Academy" is the kind of bad that leaves me in awe.  It does everything wrong, but then goes the extra mile to be completely unwatchable and hatefully stupid at every turn.

As you would expect, "Vampire Academy" has all the standard elements of cookie-cutter teen fantasy garbage.  It takes place in a weirdly convoluted and overly complicated mythology featuring three classes of vampire, five schools of magic, and an entire secret undead society ruled by twelve noble houses with an elected monarchy, all somehow centered on a high school.  Naturally at the core of this universe is our protagonists, this time two girls with a special destiny that everybody in this series must obsess over.  But it manages to be worse than most teen fantasy novels, as most of this mythology is simply window dressing to an empty and insultingly bad storyline about jealous girls being bitches, boys, shopping, and other high school nonsense.

If you want to see a movie where supernatural beings spend most of their time plotting to be popular at high school and rotating disposable boyfriends, go see "Vampire Academy".  If that doesn't sound like a movie you want to see, welcome to being every single person on the planetNobody but the stupidest and most selfish brat of a teenager could enjoy this movie, and we should consider purging that population if they keep unleashing filth like this upon the planet.

Actually managing to keep track of all the many elements of "Vampire Academy"'s universe is pretty much pointless.  Every class of vampire has a silly Russian-sounding name, but basically all you need to know is that one class knows kung-fu, one knows magic, and the other one is evil.  Even then, as previously mentioned, the fantasy elements are meaningless since most of the movie focuses around the main characters suffering from a ridiculously silly bully campaign, and its not until maybe forty minutes left that anybody does anything truly villainous.  In fact, its hard to say if "Vampire Academy" has no plot at all, or one so hopelessly convoluted and preposterous that its impossible to follow.  Add in about six hundred characters, most of whom are forgotten entirely and add nothing to anything, and you have a mess of a movie.

"Take this, dear, and you'll forget this movie ever happened."

Most of population of St. Vladamir's Academy**, as Vampire Academy is properly known, are relative unknowns or former Disney Channel stars looking for a film career and about to learn a very important life lesson about handling disappointment.  There are a few real actors floating around as well:  Olga Kurylenko (above) gives a one-note performance as the Academy mistress in a role written without any thought, Gabriel Bryne is an elderly vampire noble with a lung condition of some kind, and Joely Richardson was too embarrassed to appear in the film more than twice as the vampire queen.  Gabriel Bryne isn't exactly an A-list star, but he's a respected actor, and you'd think he'd have more self-respect than appearing in this film.  I get the sense that Hollywood is a place where actors do not get very much choice as to what projects they'll appear in:  be you Michael Sheen, Emma Thompson, Jeremy Irons, or Gary Oldman, eventually you're going to have to play in some awful teen fantasy piece of disposable crap.  I assume if you refuse to be in a Stephenie Meyer movie or one of its descendants, you will be murdered and used for spare parts to engineer the next Disney Channel star, that's really the only explanation.

Of the younger cast, they're generally all awful.  The main lead, Zoey Deutch manages to get through the movie by doing an Ellen Page impression and showing an imperial ton of perfectly-formed cleavage.  Her entire role in this movie is a constant stream of a bad screenwriter's idea of how teenage girls talk, which is meant to be "funny" but is in fact so bad that you will wonder if you will ever laugh again.  At some point though, the movie seemed to give me Stockholm Syndrome or maybe Deutch's unbelievably perfect tits hypnotized me, because I'm left thinking that she might possibly be a good actress in a project that isn't... this.  Lucy Fry, the other lead actress, is not nearly so lucky, she's simply awful.  Sarah Hyland, as the girls' annoying perky friend, actually manages to be a brief bright spot in the entire film, but again, it was only because I could imagine her in a better movie than this.  Other highlights include a moody kid trying and failing to be Robert Pattinson, a red-haired guy with no personality to speak of at all, and a dude who looked kinda like Patrick Swayze in the late 80s if you squinted exactly right.

That's how desperate I was to find anything at all to enjoy in "Vampire Academy", I had to squint my eyes and pretend I was watching "Road House".  Honestly, this guy didn't look anything like Patrick Swayze, but his hair kinda matched, and I had to find SOMETHING in this just abominably bad movie to enjoy.  Between the clucking of these teenagers and their CW network-dialog, this was a nightmare the likes of which rarely reach this mortal plane.  I had to find a silver lining, the only other option was suicide.


Not only does "Vampire Academy" pander shamelessly to the preteen audience, it feels like a movie written by a preteen.  It has all the subtle characterization and careful dialog of a Twilight fan fiction.  The boys at St. Vladimir's are as disposable to the lead women as sex toys.  Do you want the moody vibrator, the Patrick Swazye vibrator, or the earnest red-haired vibrator who actually solves the main mystery of the movie off-camera, but is still left friend-zoned forever?  Over the course of the story both girls jump around between men, without a touch of romance, and then move on within fifteen minutes... basically an accurate portrayal of high school there, now that I think about it.

Naturally the lead girls are obsessed over by every person in school including the adults, even their enemies have nothing better to do but fuck two guys at once in weird vampire orgies to manipulate them to play pranks on the heroes.  Its classic adolescent ego-mania, being fed by a badly-written universe.  Lucy Fry's character is the heir to St. Vladimir's Rurikid throne, a vampire wizard of unlimited power, and has a psychic bond with Zoey Deutch's character, who is also the greatest kung-fu-class vampire ever, apparently.

I haven't even mentioned the names of these characters yet, because I've been saving them.  Vampire princess is named "Lissa Dragomir".  Ouch.  That's almost as bad as "Katniss Everdeen".  Zoey Deutch's name is the more normal "Rose Hathaway".

Not that I suppose it matters, but most of the vampire universe is not exactly well-crafted.  Worse its not even directed well or given any kind of pacing.  Ten minutes of voice-over exposition is required to get us to the point where the filmmakers think we will be able to follow the plot.  Honestly, even with constant exposition in nearly every scene afterwards, good fucking luck trying to understanding this movie.

I'm still confused by more issues than I can even name:  We're told that these vampires "do not sparkle" in one of many references to Twilight, but only some are hurt by sunlight, I think.  Some drink blood, but some don't.  Biting on the neck is equivalent to sex, but vampires also apparently have normal human sex.  Our two leads suck each other's blood early on in the film, but are not in romantic love, I think.  There's a big deal about declaring your magical class, but its never explained what that means or why it matters.  The leads have a psychic bond, which is not consider unusual, but no other characters have anything like it.  Rose is called a "Dark Kiss", but its never explain what that means.  The vampires have human blood slaves in the basement who are fed upon, apparently willingly because they're huge Twilight fans.  With that one element, you can almost see a clever satire bleeding through the desolate wasteland that is this script, but its entirely ignored to be more generic.

All of this is of course kept secret from our regular human society, though its never explained why.  Twilight had secret vampires, Harry Potter had secret wizards, so I guess "Vampire Academy" needs secret worlds too.  Yet Rose is only character who ever references human society.

"Look pretty, girls, we may never be able to work again after this."

What's insane is that after hours and hours of anemic, mind-bogglingly awful conversations and some of the most horrific dialog I've ever come across in all my travels, suddenly "Vampire Academy" actually manages to become almost watchable and interesting in the final climax.  The final twist as to who the villain is, especially the final foe, is set-up slowly, if not even brilliantly, as you realize this character has been manipulating the heroes throughout the whole movie.  Every discovery they make has been led to by this character, very subtly.  I called the twist coming, and honestly thought this movie would be too stupid to consider that plotline as a possibility, but then it surprised me by actually doing it.  Then the Patrick Swayze guy manages to have a brief but fantastically choreographed fight scene, as if the Waters Brothers decided to become real filmmakers once again for just one scene.  It isn't enough to make this movie recommendable, everything that came before was torturous nonsense what felt like seven eternities through Buddhist Hell, but at least its probably enough to keep "Vampire Academy" from being the Worst Movie of 2014.

However, there's no way this will not be one of the worst.  "Vampire Academy" makes all the same mistakes of previous young adult stinkers like "The Mortal Instruments", but somehow commits the same sins with what feels like true hatred towards its audience.  This film was unwatchable agony.  Its bottled pain, delivered right to your central nervous system.  After this nightmare, I do not want to watch a teen fantasy movie ever again.  Hell, I don't want to watch a movie with vampires ever again.  Let's go further:  I don't want to watch a movie with people in it again.  I hope the next movie I see stars reptiles.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* Danny also, shockingly, wrote one of my favorite movies of all time, "Batman Returns".  You know how much I love "Batman Returns"?  Imagine an emotion opposite of that, and you have how I feel about "Vampire Academy".

** I feel bad for the real St. Vladimir, also known as Vladimir the Great, the tenth century Rurikid ruler of the Kievan Rus' (modern Russia and Ukraine) who converted himself and his kingdom to Christianity.  This movie claims he was a Spirit elemental Vampire who could bring back the dead and founded a high school in... North America?  St. Vladimir's Academy's location is never well-explained.

33 comments:

  1. Ahh blue I feel bad for having to watch crap like this. You know a movie is bad when its title is taken from a Simpsons episode.

    If you don't want to watch a movie with people about it, you could review the Lego Movie next .
    ;)
    Either its bad and you mock it or its surprisingly good , with you try to justify us watching a movie about Lego. Its win win.
    ..........................................................................................................................
    Sword Of Primus

    ...........................................................................................................................................

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wait hold on. Consider purging?

    ..........

    Sooooooooooo should I stop?

    ReplyDelete
  3. The LEGO movie is AWESOME!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Everyone,This was how me and my Boyfriend became VAMPIRES. I got a guy from the internet called Mr. Smith who was a VAMPIRE so i told him that me and my boyfriend would love to become VAMPIRES so he asked me of my Name ,Country, Age ,State , address and asked me to pay the sum of $750 to send me his blood which i did immediately and in the next 3 days i got the blood sample through the DHL which me and my boyfriend took in the blood into our body and in the next 30 minutes we turned into a VAMPIRE so if you are interested in becoming a VAMPIRE. FISRT: Vampires is not at all like in the movies or books, Sure. I understand. You are young; you have the whole world open to you. You can be anything that you choose if you apply yourself and try hard to work toward that goal. But being a vampire is not what it seems like. It’s a life full of good, and amazing things. We are as human as you are.. It’s not what you are that counts, but how you choose to be. Do you want a life full of interesting things? Do you want to have power and influence over others? To be charming and desirable? To have wealth, health, and longevity? contact the vampires creed today via email: vampires.evilspirit@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. This is to inform the general public that Vampires are real.My name is James Franklyn.,am an agent of vampire,am here to introduce our new world trend to you,a world of vampire where life get easier,we have made so many persons vampires and have turned them rich,you will be assured long life and prosperity,you shall be made to be very sensitive to mental alertness,stronger and also very fast,you will not be restricted to walking at night only even at the very middle of broad day light you will be made to walk.In case you are wildly oppressed by some unscrupulous persons we can still help you fight them.Your protection is assured immediately you join.Just contact the bellow email if you are interested we are here to attend to you anytime you want us.
    Contact the below email for more details.
    Email:vampiretransformationtemple@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hello

    Welcome to the ( New-World of Vampire Kingdom)Do you want to be a vampire,still in human,having talented brain turning to a

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    ReplyDelete
  7. Do you want to be a real vampire? Whatever your desire, we can fulfill it! Contact our Mystical Vampire Kingdom at vampirekingdom999@gmail.com for help. Be sure you want it, because there's no turning back... Our highly skilled vampires can alter your very essence, turning you into a real vampire. contact email: vampirekingdom999@gmail.com for help.

    ReplyDelete
  8. My names are mr elvis.

    Am here to give my testimony of how i became a vampire . Long time ago,a friend of mine told me that Vampires are real and i doubted it at the first place,not until she confessed to me that she is one of them.She told me the reason she had to became a vampire,at first i was scared of her but later she made me understand that i need not to be scared and that becoming a vampire will only make me live longer than expected,become famous and be able to fight all my enemies which i later agreed to become,i never thought it was real not until recently.

    Am very proud to be one of them now,i have no reason to be scared to give my testimony to the world.In case you are interested,just contact the bellow email.

    Email: vampirespelltemple1@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi Everyone,This was how me and my BF become VAMPIRES i got a guy from the internet called Akim who was a VAMPIRE so i told him that my boyfriend and i would love to become VAMPIRES so he asked me of my Name ,Country, Age ,State , address and asked me to pay the sum of $150 to send me his blood which i did immediately and in the next 3 days i got the blood sample through the DHL which me and my boyfriend took in the blood into your body and in the next 30 minutes i turned into a VAMPIRE so if you interested in becoming a VAMPIRE kindly contact his email address today AMORMEDICO@HOTMAIL.COM

    ReplyDelete
  10. I turn to a vampire any time i want to. i become a vampire because of how people treat me, this world is a wicked world and not fair to any body. at the snack of my finger things are made happened. am now a powerful man and no one step on me without an apology goes free. i turn to human being also at any time i want to. and am one of the most dreaded man in my country. i become a vampire through the help of my friend who introduce me into a vampire kingdom by given me their email. if you want to become a powerful vampire kindly contact the vampire kingdom on their email vampiretransformationtemple@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. Do you want to be a real vampire? Whatever your desire, we can fulfill it! Contact our Mystical Vampire Kingdom at vampirekingdom999@gmail.com for help. Be sure you want it, because there's no turning back... Our highly skilled vampires can alter your very essence, turning you into a real vampire. contact email: vampirekingdom999@gmail.com for help.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Vampires is not at all like in the movies or books. Sure, I understand. You are young; you have the whole world open to you. You can be anything that you choose if you apply yourself and try hard to work toward that goal. But being a vampire is not what it seems like. It’s a life full of good, and amazing things. We are as human as you are.. It’s not what you are that counts, but how you choose to be. Do you want a life full of interesting things? Do you want to have power and influence over others? To be charming and desirable? To have wealth, health, and longevity? contact the vampires creed today via email jointhevampirecreed@yahoo.co.uk or jointhevampirecreed@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  13. This is to inform the general public that Vampires are real.My name is James Franklyn.,am an agent of vampire,am here to introduce our new world trend to you,a world of vampire where life get easier,we have made so many persons vampires and have turned them rich,you will be assured long life and prosperity,you shall be made to be very sensitive to mental alertness,stronger and also very fast,you will not be restricted to walking at night only even at the very middle of broad day light you will be made to walk.In case you are wildly oppressed by some unscrupulous persons we can still help you fight them.Your protection is assured immediately you join.Just contact the bellow email if you are interested we are here to attend to you anytime you want us. Contact the below email for more details. Email:vampiretransformationtemple@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  14. Welcome to ( New-World Vampire Screed). Do you want to be a vampire,still in human,having talented brain turning to a vampire in a good posture in ten mines time to a human again, with out delaying in a good human posture. A world of vampire where life get easier,we have made so many persons vampires and have turned them rich,you will assured long life and prosperity,you shall be made to be very sensitive to mental alertness,stronger and also very fast,you will not be restricted to walking at night only even at the very middle of broad day light you will be made to walk, this is an opportunity to have the human vampire virus to perform in a good posture.if you are interested contact us on vampirescreed22@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete

  15. My Name is Kelly Williams from Canada, i turn to a vampire any time i want to, I become a real vampire because of how people treat me, This world is a wicked world and not fair to any body. At the snack of my finger things are made happened. Am now a powerful vampire and no one step on me without an apology goes free. I turn to human being also at any time i want to. And am one of the most dreaded and respected person in my country. i am now also very famous and rich with the help of the VAMPIRES EMPIRE. i get what ever a want. i become a vampire through the help of my friend who introduce me into a vampire Kingdom by given me their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com, if you want to become a powerful and a real vampire kindly contact the vampire kingdom on their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com for help. it is real. Contact them today. templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Welcome to ( New-World Vampire Kingdom). Do you want to be a vampire,still in human,having talented brain turning to a vampire in a good posture in ten mines time to a human again, with out delaying in a good human posture. A world of vampire where life get easier,we have made so many persons vampires and have turned them rich,you will assured long life and prosperity,you shall be made to be very sensitive to mental alertness,stronger and also very fast,you will not be restricted to walking at night only even at the very middle of broad day light you will be made to walk, this is an opportunity to have the human vampire virus to perform in a good posture.if you are interested contact us on vampireworld777@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  17. I’m a vampire and i know you will be surprise to think that
    how i can write aticles on these site if am a vampire i can change any time
    any day to either human or vampire .Yes it is true. How I become a vampire
    with the help of the richvampirekindom@gmail.com
    I will tell you later,I live in north India here we are called PISACH. My
    day changed from that day when I met a sweet handsome Man
    He is also a pisach called richvampirekindom@gmail.com
    . I will not tell u my exact location. But I will tell you how to become a
    vampire,my English is not so good so excuse me.They learned the procedure
    from a secret book.This dark art has been revealed by a rich hindu
    landowner who find a book from the library of a danish king and with the
    help of vampire lord which is email is
    richvampirekindom@gmail.com If u become vampire you can still be a ordinary man but you will get
    more power and gain more height,you will become much younger than your
    mates of same age, you never become bald, you don’t need any sex, you will
    always satisfied.But to become a vampire a very difficult task . I give you
    the procedure, I will no longer be responsible for your nature but you will
    become lone like me.i was so much amazed at first when i contacted the
    richvampirekindom@gmail.com )1 At first i become very scared and afraid to offer the sacrifice to them
    just to be a full blooded vampire but i later changed my mind and strong in
    spirit and i did what was needed and now am not just an ordinary vampire
    but a very rich and famous wealthy one too, i have powers and many doos.
    no human life needed for you to be a full blooded vampire just get them
    what they want and i promise you u will be so glad- so if u all out there
    really want to become a rich and famous vampire like me then contact our
    lord the most lord of all lord at these email
    richvampirekindom@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  18. Welcome to (New-World Vampire Kingdom) , contact us on vampireworld777@gmail.com

    Do you want to be a vampire,still in human,having talented brain turning to a vampire in a good posture in ten mines time to a human again, with out delaying in a good human posture. A world of vampire where life get easier,we have made so many persons vampires and have turned them rich,you will assured long life and prosperity,you shall be made to be very sensitive to mental alertness,stronger and also very fast,you will not be restricted to walking at night only even at the very middle of broad day light you will be made to walk, this is an opportunity to have the human vampire virus to perform in a good posture.If you are interested contact us on vampireworld777@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  19. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hello friend i want to say u that there is no one here to help u to became vampire.cos i tried all of them.all are spameres.they will first say that they want to export blood.and they want exporting fees.and then they go with ur money.some of them also send some medicine to u.that not make u vampire.that is a some kind of poison to make u mad.i tried to became vampire last eight years and i find a man i man.and now i have his mail id also.i pleaded him so much and at last he agreed to make other people vampire.now he is changing people to vampire.but not all people if he think that u really want one, he will help u.he is not exporting his blood to u he will change u into one like this.

    A vampire is most commonly formed when another vampire kills a human by nearly draining them of blood but leaving a certain small amount behind. Once the victim’s heart has stopped the vampire introduces his own blood into the victims system. The vampires blood contains the supernatural vampirical demonic virus which re-sequences the humans DNA thereby transforming their cells into something similar to cancer cells except stable in nature. It is this similarity to cancer cells that gives them their immortality since cancer cells are immortal. The process isn’t instant and often takes 24-48 hours during which time the pre-vampire is clinically dead. You'll die in the process & come back to life as a new turned vampire.if u fear then u cant do it.i am not forcing u to contact him.i am saying u there is no one other than him turning people into vampire.if u belive this contact him in this mail id

    dearmal2000@gmail.com

    Ok. i am posting about him for helping u people

    ReplyDelete
  21. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I always turn to vampire any time i want to. i become a vampire because of how people treat me, this world is a wicked world and not fair to any body. at the snack of my finger things are made happened. am now a powerful man and no one step on me without an apology goes free. i turn to human being also at any time i want to. and am one of the most dreaded man in my country. i become a vampire through the help of my friend who introduce me into a vampire kingdom by given me their email. if you want to become a powerful vampire kindly contact the vampire kingdom on their Email: Vampirelord7878@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  23. Welcome to (New-World Vampire Kingdom) , contact us on vampireworld777@gmail.com....
    Do you want to be a vampire,still in human,having talented brain turning to a vampire in a good posture in ten mines time to a human again, with out delaying in a good human posture. A world of vampire where life get easier,we have made so many persons vampires and have turned them rich,you will assured long life and prosperity,you shall be made to be very sensitive to mental alertness,stronger and also very fast,you will not be restricted to walking at night only even at the very middle of broad day light you will be made to walk, this is an opportunity to have the human vampire virus to perform in a good posture.If you are interested contact us on vampireworld777@gmail.com....

    ReplyDelete
  24. Are you tired of being human, having talented brain turning to a vampire in a good posture in ten minutes, Do you want to have power and influence over others, To be charming and desirable, To have wealth, health, without delaying in a good human posture and becoming an immortal? If yes, these your chance. It's a world of vampire where life get easier,We have made so many persons vampires and have turned them rich, You will assured long life and prosperity, You shall be made to be very sensitive to mental alertness, Stronger and also very fast, You will not be restricted to walking at night only even at the very middle of broad day light you will be made to walk, This is an opportunity to have the human vampire virus to perform in a good posture. If you are interested contact us on Vampirelord7878@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  25. Vampires is not at all like in the movies or books. Sure, I understand. You are young you have the whole world open to you. You can be anything that you choose if you apply yourself and try hard to work toward that goal. But being a Vampire is not what it seems like. It’s a life full of good, and amazing things. We are as human as you are.. It’s not what you are that counts, But how you choose to be. Do you want a life full of interesting things? Do you want to have power and influence over others? To be charming and desirable? To have wealth, health, and longevity? contact the Vampires Lord on his Email: Richvampirekindom@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete

  26. My Name is Kelly Williams from Canada, i turn to a vampire any time i want to, I become a real vampire because of how people treat me, This world is a wicked world and not fair to any body. At the snack of my finger things are made happened. Am now a powerful vampire and no one step on me without an apology goes free. I turn to human being also at any time i want to. And am one of the most dreaded and respected person in my country. i am now also very famous and rich with the help of the VAMPIRES EMPIRE. i get what ever a want. i become a vampire through the help of my friend who introduce me into a vampire Kingdom by given me their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com, if you want to become a powerful and a real vampire kindly contact the vampire kingdom on their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com for help. it is real. Contact them today. templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com.

    ReplyDelete


  27. Hi Guys

    i really have to tell this i never thought this is what would happen to me so at the beginning of my life i met somebody in email suddenly somebody wrote me





    I got on well with her and she is such a good person

    So I'm starting to tell, I've never thought to help me offer me and I never thought to make my dream come true
    she asks me to come to a power that I have always wished
    and she can help any person start a new life the person


    she is really a charitable person


    it will help you no matter what you want a vampire yours or something else




    This is her e-mail


    templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com


    I hope your dream comes true

    ReplyDelete
  28. DO YOU WISH TO BE A VAMPIRE OR YOU WANT YOUR OWN POWERS AND PROTECTION COME AND BE AMONG THE VAMPIRES TODAY AND YOU GET WHAT EVER YOU NEED OKAY CONTACT OUR Master ON HIS EMAIL

    realvampirekingdom1@gmail.com 0r whatsapp number +13656594152

    AND HE WILL HELP YOU OUT.

    ReplyDelete
  29. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Welcome to ( New-World Vampire Kingdom). Do you want to be a vampire,still in human,having talented brain turning to a vampire in a good posture in ten mines time to a human again, with out delaying in a good human posture. A world of vampire where life get easier,we have made so many persons vampires and have turned them rich,you will assured long life and prosperity,you shall be made to be very sensitive to mental alertness,stronger and also very fast,you will not be restricted to walking at night only even at the very middle of broad day light you will be made to walk, this is an opportunity to have the human vampire virus to perform in a good posture.if you are interested contact us on vampireworld777@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  31. DO YOU WISH TO BE A VAMPIRE OR YOU WANT YOUR OWN POWERS AND PROTECTION COME AND BE AMONG THE VAMPIRES TODAY AND YOU GET WHAT EVER YOU NEED OKAY CONTACT OUR Master ON HIS EMAIL

    realvampirekingdom1@gmail.com 0r whatsapp number +13656594152

    AND HE WILL HELP YOU OUT.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I am Robert from United States, Vampire is Real and is not all like in the movies or book. I turn into a vampire any time i want and i like being a vampire because is full of interesting things. Do you want to be Fame, Have power and influence over many things, to be charming and diserable, to have wealth, health and longevity? Contact the Vampire Screed today and become one of us on realvampirekingdom1@gmail.com

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  33. My Name is Kelly Williams from Canada, i turn to a vampire any time i want to, I become a real vampire because of how people treat me, This world is a wicked world and not fair to any body. At the snack of my finger things are made happened. Am now a powerful vampire and no one step on me without an apology goes free. I turn to human being also at any time i want to. And am one of the most dreaded and respected person in my country. i am now also very famous and rich with the help of the VAMPIRES EMPIRE. i get what ever a want. i become a vampire through the help of my friend who introduce me into a vampire Kingdom by given me their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com, if you want to become a powerful and a real vampire kindly contact the vampire kingdom on their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com for help. it is real. Contact them today. templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com.

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