Another year, another round of ludicrous rage from Jihadist extremist, right? What is it this time? Israeli settlement in the West Bank? US troops stationed in the Arabian Peninsula? Film makers showing movies that rightfully criticize the religion for oppressing women with bizarre cultural restrictions? Salman Rushdie wrote another book? Five points will be awarded to whoever is able to guess the right answer. You have five seconds....WRONG. Actually Internal Jidhism has found a completely new target: Triscuits, the beloved Nabisco snack crackers. It all traces back to RevolutionIslam.com (yes, there is such a thing) spokesman, Younus Abdullah Mohammed, and his response to the recent controversy over latest South Park episodes dealing with the Prophet Muhammad. Upon having his website vandalized by some 4Chan chaps, Abdullah Mohammed's response was a characteristically intelligent for people who share his world philosophy, calling the hackers "Darwinist [homophobic slur] who are as despicable as the rest, walking around eating your Triscuits."
How dare they attack Triscuits!
Now where in the world did this blind hate for Triscuits come from? How could religious people (nominally at least) because so blinded by rage that they would target a tasty flaky treat? I'll admit that Triscuits are a bit dry at time, and typically are only eaten by very boring adults who sip wine in ridiculously expensive apartments (as evidenced in the Truscuit website), but out of all the snacks western civilization has created, why target one singular snack? How can you have lost so much touch with reality that the very act of eating a Triscuit becomes something to detest and protest?
I think the answer lies in the fact that International Jihadists are generally just not very nice people. Beyond their annoying tendency to murder Danish film makers, blow up skyscrapers, and throw acid in the faces of Afghani girls who are trying to go to school, you can find a very fundamental problem with their brand of philosophy. The problem is certainty. Jihadists don't simply believe that they hold the moral high ground and are fundamentally better than western secularism and salty treats, they are also certain that in the end their brand of warped Muslim thought will somehow win out. Our godless capitalism undercuts our very own attempts to defeat them, and no matter what we do history will eventually show the terrorists to be the victors.
Its much the same problem that the Communists had back in the 20th century. The predictions of Karl Marx supposedly gave a rational and mathematical proof that in the end the proletariat would win out and create a classless utopia. To even oppose such a trend is to stand in the way of inevitable progress - you and your Triscuits are historically redundant. No limits of cruelty can be opposed, since cruelty does not matter. You can't fail, everybody will benefit in the end, so if a few eggs get broken, the ultimate omelet will justify the yoke on the floor. Unfortunately limitless cruelty does not create a utopia: it creates a terror state run by fear and death, rotten from the top to the bottom.
What the Jihadists are trying to achieve is quite simply deranged: a world united not just by Islam, but by their Islam. All of the gender equality strides this culture has made over the last two centuries would be reversed, all of the long political evolution towards open, constitutional governments and democracy would be crushed. In its place would be a totalitarian theocracy, forcing the entire world to pray towards Mecca in a mockery of current Muslim trends. Governments would be repealed, every other faith destroyed, and all appearances of government by law would be reversed with nothing but pure terror. Instead of a constitution, the Jihadists would use the Koran - and only their interpretation of the Koran. Freedom of speech is gone, free enterprise is gone, freedom assembly gone. All literature and speech that does not fit into the religious line would be burned, probably with their creators thrown right onto the top of the pile. And now, you can add into that equation: a world without Triscuits.
So if you want to show these people that you don't share their vision for a new world order, go to your local store and buy a box Triscuits. Eat them loud, eat them proud!
*MUNCH!*
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* I think perhaps its this very taboo that's made the Muslim community so seriously defensive upon any attempts to reproach their faith. It is who suffers the most out of this taboo against depicting religious figures. One can find numerous problems with the popular image of Jesus Christ, as a blue-eyed White man, but at least it gives the faithful something tangible that they can believe in. When you sit down to pray to Christ, you have a face in mind - he's given a human form that you have a tangible biological connection to. The Muslim community has no such connection. Muhammad is placed beyond the limits of even being allowed a human face to relate to. Thus is he is utterly beyond any reproach. Unless you have a face and expression, you cannot ever be given human frailty. A human being can be insulted or questioned - a faceless name can receive only respect. Also a purely artistic level, human beings have an inherent desire to depict their historical and religious idols. How much beautiful art of the Prophet has not been created due to this cultural taboo?
I agree especially with your cliff note at the end.
ReplyDelete@ YKProductions
ReplyDeleteYou mustn't generalise. Islam is the second largest religion in the world, second only to christianity; there's no way that it can be that large and not be integrated into society. Infact, there are several cases here Islam has been blended peacefully into a common society, just look at Singapore. You have the Hindus, who have been there for ages; you have the Christians, who came with the British, and you also have a very strong Mulsim population that exists in harmony with the other religions. Europe is currently going under an enormous demographic change, and predictions say that in 50 years time, much of the population in Europe will be Muslim. Yet there are no bloody conflicts, no jihads of conquest. Just a simple and progressional transition. One of my friends hails from Malaysia, and he is a devout Muslim, prays five times a day, doesn't eat pork, won't drink booze, all that jazz. And he is one of the most awesome guys out there.
I beleive the biggest flaw with Islam is its source: The Koran. Unlike the Bible, it is not a chronology, but a series of messages that Muhammad received from God, and passed around to other people. Years after his death, someone gathered all of these quotes and wrote them down in a big volume that is now known as the Koran. The Problem is that these messages are extremely vague, and are very often contradictory. The oft used critisizm of Islam is the treatment of women, serving men, having to wear the shroud, so on. The advocates of these practices claim that it is written in the Koran, and thus is Allah's will.
But the issue is that No Where, NO Where does it specifically say in the Koran that women have to wear the shroud. Rather, and don't quote me on this, one passage in the Koran goes something like this:
"Modesty is a woman's greatest virtue. Therefore, to protect both themselves and the integrity of men, women should cover the beauty of that which is apparent"
The Vagueness of this line, and other lines exactly like this that is the cause of all the confusion. The key issue is, what is apparent beauty? Is it the face? Is it the hands? is it the hair? What is the beauty which is apparent. As a result of this, there are many different interpretaions to this line. Some women only cover their hair with a simple scarf, whilst others, perhaps living in the same neigbourhood go all the way and wear the tent-like haaj, leaving only the eyes. In some areas, this is completely volentary, whilst in others, women can be stoned to death for being indecently dressed (showing the skin of one finger). What's more, it is beleive that by listing this practice, the Koran is actually honouring Women. Think about it; Cover the beaty which is apparent, if you cover the whole body, then the entireity of a woman is beautiful.
Points such as this are strewn throughout the Koran. For example, one line has a line very similar to the Christian ideal "love thy neigbour as yourself" (Fun Fact: The Koran, The Old Testament, and the Jewish Bible are almost the same book), and proclaims love and peace. But the line directly beneath it calls for the true beliver to vanqush the enemies of Islam with glorious battle, and hence the concept of jihad. Therefore, by piking and choosing what to read, one can live in peace, according to the Koran, or one can declare war, according to the Koran.
It's a very complicated issue, and one that simply cannot be overcome by brute strength (in fact I beleive that that will only add fuel to the problem, creating a sense of martyrdom for the accolytes to live up to) and will probably never be fully resolved.
Sorry to write a friggin' book, Blue, but I just utterly resent conclusions based on ignorance. I wish to shed some understanding of why it it is like this.
No, Tequila, I have no problems there. I never once said that the problem was with "Muslims", I made a very careful position to say it was only "International Jihadism" (or Qutbism - but I didn't use that term because I don't think very many people know its meaning), which is a particularly violent, anti-western, and evil form of the religion. I try not to ever categorize an entire religion as being evil: the vast majority of Muslims simply want to live their lives according to the word of God and let everybody else be. Even then, the Jihadist are an extremely divided group, and cannot be called one organization: just a movement with an impossible goal that is willing to do horrible things to reach it.
ReplyDeleteWOW, great read. Well, that did light up some thoughts in my head, but it doesn't explain this whole TERRORISM thing going on.
ReplyDeleteAnother reason I dislike them, is because here in Toronto Canada, THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. I have enough of them, to the point where I'd gladly return to my country of Poland if I could. Most come here, inviting their entire families, and than your stuck waiting at a hospital for hours on end because all the seats are taken by 90-year old muslims/hindu/islam that are barely alive, and are living on Canada's health-care benefits.
I'm angry at the Canadian government for excepting them so willingly just because it's worth it money-wise. Now their pushing forward to get into our area's such as our government, and being ridiculously stupid and calling people racist left and right (see the recent South Park incident). Belgium just passed a law saying that women are not aloud to wear burqa's or whatever their called, and I commend them for this brave action.
Another great example, although a little bit pushing it, is Australia. I forgot who exactly, but either the Premier or President or something told the Asian religions that "this is a country created under Christian values, and if you don't like it than please leave".
Islam won't stop being assholes till the whole world converts to their side of the world, and unless careful measures are taken, not the ones America took, this whole religious battle can really fuck up the world.
That's all I have to say, I know I sound racist, but this is really pissing me off. I'm fine with people from Africa, South America, the Caribbean, China, and almost every other nation in the world (except Kosovo), but these arabic (or at least Islam/Muslim) assholes have to F off.
Encyclopedia Dramatica has an article on Islam, I realize most of my anger and similar issues can be found there.
I agree with everything Blue has said up to this point, except for a few key things. Being Muslim myself, I get extremely(extremely extremely) annoyed when people undefine the term "jihad". It never did mean "holy war", that was hasty induction that's now the mainstream connotation for it. Jihad, in reality, means "struggle". That's it. My uncle's name is Jihad, and not because of the stupid terrorists, he was named after the real meaning. It's like taking the word "endeavor" and changing its meaning to mean "murder".
ReplyDeleteI realize there is no stopping the people who believe they know what "jihad" really means, especially since the stupid terrorist radicals perpetuate the lie by calling themselves jihadists. Just wanted to get that out there, apart from that, I'm going to go buy myself a box of Triscuits. ^_^
Anon, I read your post. I understand they are allowed to wear the head-things, but that wasn't the point. It is simply that I noticed that someone is actually changing things, and not succumbing to w/e they want. Yes, maybe it is a little too drastic, but if that's what they want to do, I won't be stopping them.
ReplyDeleteAs for the medicine, you got the wrong message. I'm not saying they should be banned from health care, I'm just angry that legally they are not aloud to abuse the system, in the sense that they are not aloud to bring a family member to Canada, an old non-handicapped or diseased family member, just so they could put them in a hospital bed that treats them great for free. This takes bed's away for more seriously affected patients. Canada is doing a lot to prevent this, including new laws that require more time in Canada or something, but it's bullshit when it happens.
Of course, I'm not going to throw these people out of the hospital beds and tell them to GTFO. If they are there, I'm going to let them finish their treatments. But they better not as hell do it again.
The fact about the Ottoman Muslim Empire perks my attention, but here is the thing: Every muslim I know personally is either an asshole or makes fun of other colours left and right, while I, the white guy, have to "respect their religion and rights". Fucking bullshit, that's what it is.
And yet, there are those Muslims who are respectful, and good people. Those I would treat like anyone else. But none that I've met so far in my life have surprised me.
YKProductions, I'm always open to free expression, but I fear that your conversation is bordering on the racist. I don't think anybody here wants to talk about anybody's personal grudge against one ethnic group or religion. Please refrain from such dialog or I might be forced to delete future comments.
ReplyDeleteAight. Just that this stuff ticks me off. I'll cool down. Maybe some of these "triscuits" will help.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOh, terribly sorry, Blue. My point on Ignorance was not directed at you. In fact, I beleive that your article was a very valid and very mature discussion of the issues with radical Islam.
ReplyDeleteThe whole point of my post was to act as a rebuke towards people such as YKProductions, whose opinions are, as you say, biased to the point of racism. I wrote that comment to hopefully educate people on the differences and complexities within Islam and help them respect and understand the "Whys" and "Hows" of the issue, rather than just spewing hatred fed by the media.
I apologise if I made it seem as though I was attacking your comment, and calling *you* ignorant. You make some extremely intellegent points, particually your last one about the personifacation of Deieties. I respect you as a intellectual person, and I sincerely hope that I have not caused you any offense.
-Tequila Mockingbird
I am not biased, I see your opinion and I can see that the Koran appears to be one of the main sources of problems. In terms of Islam, I think the Jihadists make a bad name for them, since it's impossible that all Islam are "evil". In fact, I will read up on Islam and Muslim history some time later. Maybe that will clear up my racism.
ReplyDeleteYK, I do see your point about Muslims getting preferential treatment to try and avoid racism, and I'm not saying you can't make fun of people: not being allowed to crack jokes makes us more uptight and scared of racism. However in the US, muslims are much worse off in terms of treatment, and since the integration of a new religion into culture and society is tough, it can be easy to get touchy, but in time, they will integrate peacefully into society like every religion, it just takes awhile. Islam as a religion will probably have to evolve though, as Mohammed was as much a political as well as religious leader, and most of the tenants of Islam were written to combat threats to a very specific society and culture in a very specific time: It became outdated and caused friction. For example, women having to cover themselves was no big deal in the arabian desert, as they did it anyway to protect from the wind and sand. Also, the concept of Jihad and defending faith came about as a result of the fact that the first Muslims were warred against by the vast majority of polytheistic Arabs, and they had to defend themselves- Mohammed used his faith to politically lead his people.
ReplyDelete(This and the previous anon were XYZ)
Very well, if that's the truth, I'm happy.
ReplyDelete