Toy Story 3

"Toy Story" is easily one of the most beloved children's films of all time - and for good reason.  It was the very first fully computer-animated movie ever made, but not only that, started off Pixar's long and glorious tradition of brilliant family entertainment.  This is where it all began folks:  before "WALL-E", before "The Incredibles", before "Finding Nemo", there was little ol' "Toy Story".  And now we have the second, and probably last sequel is in theatres.  Is it worth a view?  Of course!  Its Pixar, naturally!  This is not just some pathetic last dying gasp of a series whoring itself out desperately for a few more lousy dollars, rather this is a touching finale:  a final goodbye to old computer generated plastic friends who much move on to the next part of a toy's life - hand-me-down town.

At the time the movie came out, I was just four-years-old, and like every single four-year-old, I had a room filled with roughly 300,000 cubic meters of toys.  When it came to VHS, I occasionally dug out of the huge mountain of toys that was my home and went to the living room TV to put it on an endless cycle of repeats along with various other movies like "Independence Day", and "The Lion King".  Eventualy I had to go to school, and living in a nest of various Some-Assembly-Required plastic Made-In-Taiwan entertainment devices became much too combersome for my daily commute, so a good deal of the toys were slowly filtered away.  Some broke and were thrown out, some were too loud and gave my Mom a headache and so were put up on a big shelf where I couldn't reach, and others were simply forgotten, lost forever.  "Toy Story 2" came out, and for some reason (I don't remember what) I didn't like it.   No matter though, my life continued as it always did.  Through late grammar school, what few toys that had survived now found themselves new rivals:  video games, human friends, and television.  The competition did not last long.  Many found themselves either thrown away, or stuffed into a purple plastic tub, gathering dust and being slowly covered with various bits of trash.  Finally, as I began to pack away for college, the question came up:  what do I do with these old toys*?

In a strange case of movies perfectly reflecting my exact life, "Toy Story 3" handles these exact twilight years for toys.  Every toy knows there comes a day where your kid grows up and stops playing with you, and its no different for Woody, Buzz, and the gang**.  Anyway, Woody and now a far smaller group of veteran toys are all that's left of the once thriving world that existed within Andy's Room.  Several old faces are gone, including Bo, Woody's girlfriend, who was cut out for no reason that I understand.  So Andy starts to pack up for college, but now has a new issue:  what do you do with your old toys.  Its not like he's going to play Cowboys and Buzz Lightyears in his dorm, is he?

So during the packing, the toys find themselves sent away to Day Care.  At first it seems that all their hopes and dreams have come true:  new kids, constant playtime, and a larger community of toys than they'd ever seen before.  Naturally Woody is ever-fighting to restore the old status quo and once again begin yet another epic journey through the dangerous outside world to return to Andy.  But this time, it doesn't look like things can go back to the way they were.  And worse, there's a new villain come around.  I won't give away who it is, but you'll probably be quite surprised.  Along the way, the toys will meet new friends, fight for their freedom, and even come face to face with Toy Hell itself, all in a final journey to eventually find a place in the world; to move on with their lives just as Andy has done with his.

As you can tell, the storyline is a bit darker this time around, but this being Pixar, you can always rely on them handling plots like this in a way that appeals to everybody***, or as saccharine ads say "for the whole family".  With less talented hands, "Toy Story 3", and  "WALL-E" would have become grim and disturbing tales of a world moved on.  But with them running things, there is humor even in a world devoid of life, or a community that has lost its purpose in the world.  You're old friends are still there, and several new ones that I'm sure will find themselves just as loved as Rex or Mr. Potato Head.  There's Barbie who is obviously played by Ariel from "The Little Mermaid", and her metrosexual "Scooby-Doo" cast-off boyfriend Ken (none other than Michael Keaton), who lovingly lampoon their own product and its idolization of a life style that existed only in the fantasies of White people from the 50s.  Then there's Lot's-o-Huggin Bear, a giant (in toy scale) teddy bear that smells of strawberries and walks around with grandfather ginger kindness and homespun folksiness.  First you want to sit on his lap and hear his stories about the Good Ol' Days and then you'll want to... well, I won't give it away, but you'll know the emotion when you feel it.  Ultimately its not the theme of the movie that makes it sad, but the characters you're watching with.   And being with Woody and Buzz is a certainty that things will never end in a tragedy.

By the end of the movie I was crying, I'll admit to that, but it wasn't tears of sadness, but rather tears of happiness.  Andy has to pass on to the adult world, but even so his toys will always have a place for the younger generation, who I think the filmmakers and a good deal of us envy for their ability to just sit in the grass and have aliens fight Jedis.  When you reach adulthood you have to say goodbye to your toys, but they'll always live on somewhere inside your subconscious.  The characters are just as lovable as ever, but its time for a new generation to enjoy them.

By the way, if you aren't crying in the final scene, you might possibly not be a member of the human race.  I'd have it looked into.  There's nothing wrong with not being human, and there are movies for you.  For example, "Ultraviolet" was clearly written by and for a group who have never really understood humanity or human emotions.

"Toy Story 3" really does give a perfect ending for the series.  Yes, its a great movie, and it may even be, surprisingly, the best of the whole bunch.  I might even call the best Pixar movie ever made if there was such a quantitative way of measuring one timeless Pixar classic against another.  Most likely its going to win Best Animated Picture, and possibly might get a pity nomination for Best Picture in general thanks to the Academy's needlessly glutted Best Picture nomination field.  Its the best movie I've seen in theatres all year.  And that's exactly why this series should end here.  Let Woody, Buzz, and everybody else just have their final moment here, and live on forever with this being the end.  Even with Pixar's limitless filmmaking magic, I can't imagine a more perfect way for the series to end without repeating itself endlessly and pointlessly like some other series I could mention.

So go see "Toy Story 3".  And see it with 3D glasses, as pointless and needlessly expensive as they are.  Buy the ticket that's overpriced, buy the popcorn that's the legal definition of highway robbery, and even sit in an aisle filled with three babies constantly crying.  This movie is worth it, trust me.

Last Minute Update:  If you're playing attention you can spot Studio Ghibli's mascot and star of his own movie, Totoro hanging around in the backgrounds of a few scenes as a non-speaking toy-extra.  For animation nuts like myself, such nods to the legendary Japanese cartoon studio makes us squirm around in our theatre chairs.

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* Going through my old toys was actually a fascinating exploration of the greatest pop-culture moments of the 90s... for children at least.  There was an "Independence Day" alien, now having lost all of its tentacles, a "Jurassic Park" dinosaur that still roared even if its tail was badly bent, a 24 carat gold Pokeball from a Burger King give-away for "Pokemon:  The First Movie", R. Lee Ermy's character from "Small Soldiers", a transforming robot that was not exactly from the "Power Rangers", but close enough that I didn't care, two "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", an Alien from "Alien Resurrection", a Halloween "Scream" mask, and even two silver-colored "Dragonball Z" dolls of Piccolo and Freeza.  Now all of it belongs my little brother, except for the stuff that was either too dirty or too important to me, like Tommy.

None of those other toys meant nearly as much to me as my old Tommy Doll, from "Rugrats", formally my favorite cartoon of all time.  That poor little Tommy Doll traveled with me all over the world - to Summer Camp, Trick-r-Treating, on vacations, to the mall, to the playground.  Some mean older kids smashed his ear off on a jungle gym in 3rd Grade, so one side of poor Tommy's head was covered in bandages.  And once Tommy fell in a Porta-Potty, and poor mother had to fish him out of the raw sewage with her bare hand.  He still had a smiley face painted on one hand from a fair I went too.  Tommy, did not get sent away, however.  He's still here, sitting on my couch, with his ever-present crooked smile.  I love you, Tommy.

** If you don't know who those characters are, then I recommend you rent "Toy Story 1" and "2" already, where have you been for fifteen years?  This movie, though not incomprehensible to newcomers, is best watched with familiarity with the characters, and the unsimulatable nostalgia of fifteen years of found memories.  But since the latter is impossible, just rent the movies.  Even if you don't want to see this one, rent them already.  What's wrong with you?  Never watching "Toy Story" is just as bad as never watching "Star Wars" or never having children (all three are equally essential).  You're just not a complete human being until you do.

*** And by "everybody" I even mean you:  ever Grinch-like running joke, Armond White.   I know you wrote a review where you claimed to have hated it, saying "The Toy Story franchise isn’t for children and adults, it’s for non-thinking children and adults" and you claimed that some obscure 1990 movie was better.  But we both know you're just playing-up for your fans (and anti-fans).  We all expect you to hate the movie, and I think we all want you to hate it.  Somebody has to be the villain, if it isn't you, its Uwe Boll.  At this point, you're not even giving reasons anymore, now you're just hating on the premise.  Its hard being so hateful all the time, I know from experience.  Come on, man, I'm personally inviting you even though you certainly don't have any inkling that I exist.  Let's go watch "Toy Story 3".  I'll buy.