You better prepare for it. Oh, you might think that its only mid-June and technically Summer hasn't even started, but you're wrong. Because Winter is Coming. "But, Blue", you might say, "things are pretty bad now: Obama can't fix the oil spill, Korea is about to erupt into war, and "Marmaduke" is somehow still in theatres, killing millions each day." Well, I laugh at your petty grievances. They're nothing compared to the coming chill. Remember what killed the dinosaurs. Winter is coming. Buy a sweater.
In 2011 HBO will release their next (most likely great) series: "A Game of Thrones". Now to some of you, the series may just be a fantasy TV show - a high budget "Xena" perhaps. However, for me, when I saw that promo before the season premiere of "True Blood"*, I had only one reaction. Just one word. "YESSSSS!!!!!" I screamed it out towards the heavens, a clear affirmation of my unlimited joy and excitement. You know that scene in "Revenge of the Sith" where Darth Vader awakes and yells upon hearing of his wife's inexplicable death? My emotion was in essence the exact opposite of that. I could only be happier if one of the many actresses I propose to on this blog were exactly to accept my marriage offer.
I love "The Song of Ice and Fire" - the epic dark fantasy series by George R. R. Martin. They're some of the best books I've ever read. And a series based on it can only be just about the most awesome thing well... ever. They're that good. But here's the thing: you really shouldn't read these books.
I started reading "A Game of Thrones" about six months ago based upon two factors: the lovely Yuanchosaan's recommendation, and the fact that the series title, "A Song of Ice and Fire" is probably the best title for anything I have ever heard**, and "A Game of Thrones" isn't a bad title either. And finally, perhaps for the first time, a book was actually equal to its title. Nay, it might even be better than its title. Then the sequel was just as good. And so was the next one. (The fourth wasn't as good, but still a great read.)
By the time I was out of college for Summer Break - and finally had time to read again - I was so obsessed with the series I devoured three books in just the span of three weeks. The level of infatuation I had reached cannot be called anything other than a love affair. I traveled with my lover across the battlefields of a fantasy kingdom torn apart by civil war. I saw dragon queens and zombies in the north, I saw face-shifting assassins and Red Weddings. There was humor, there was sadness, but that constant ever-present mystery of what was to come next. Somehow I managed to get four books into the seven book series without spoiling it for myself as I'm aught to do. No amounts of pages could hold me back. My finger moved, burning through paragraphs, swiping pages back as I burned through chapters. I could not get enough. I was insatiable.
But then the other shoe dropped. It dropped hard.
Here's why I couldn't spoil myself the many mysteries of "The Song of Ice and Fire": the series wasn't done yet. I couldn't skip to the last page because there wasn't a last page. George R. R. Martin never finished the series. He wrote Book Four, "A Feast For Crows" five years ago, but has yet to get to "A Dance With Dragons". "Feast For Crows" took five years to finish as well. Technically books Four and Five are the same story, just divided up by location and character - so that means that Martin has spent more than ten years on just one - albeit long - novel.
Do you know how long ten years is: back in 2000 I was nine years old. The Twin Towers were still standing tall across the river. The idea of George W. Bush was just a joke that nobody could imagine could possibly happen, instead of a sad joke that nobody can possibly imagine actually did happen. "Sonic the Hedgehog" was still a beloved video game franchise. "Lord of the Rings" was still only for ultra-nerds. Let's put it this way: in the year 2000, people still thought that cellphones were only for the rich and obnoxious. It isn't a good sign. At this rate, the series won't be finished until 2020 at the earliest. It also isn't a good sign for the TV show, which is supposed to be based on one season per book. What's going to happen when they inevitably overtake the books?
"A Song of Ice and Fire" is as gripping as a series gets. But that's exactly why a ten year wait is so maddening. You realize, for readers from the start, they've been waiting ten years to find out the fate of some of their favorite characters. Ten years is a long time. Its such a long time, in fact, that some of the series's biggest fans have completely lost their mind and now run a Bitch Blog filled with nothing but complaints about the author's personal life and writing policies. That's the effect this series has on you: it sucks you in, gives you everything, and then suddenly stops short without warning. The withdrawal is so great that it drives readers completely insane, until they're nothing but angry unreleasable professional trolls.
Perhaps Armond White is a fan of "A Song of Ice and Fire"?
So far I've been free of most of the symptoms, but that's only because I finished the last book on Saturday. But soon enough I'll become a cringing miserable husk of a man, finding endless fault in that which I once loved. Winter is Coming for me.
So I implore you all: don't read these books. You'll love them at first, but then you'll grow into grotesque parodies of human beings. They're so good, they'll destroy your life.
PS: I am absolutely loving the new wider post width. By the way. Finally the pictures can be just as big I want them to be. Its beautiful.
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* If you're not watching "True Blood" already, I recommend you start. Some people like to laud over this series because its basically the "Twilight Saga" done right, I'm not one of those (the vampire anime "Hellsing" is the proper cure for any left-over "Twilight" symptoms). I started watching because its made by Alan Ball, the same guy who did the phenomenal HBO series "Six Feet Under", and honestly "True Blood" shares most of that earlier series's charms and wit - only with vampires.
** Some people judge books by their covers, I judge them by their titles. Why else do you think I started playing "Final Fantasy"? Or saw the movie "Blade Runner"?
Ahh 2000
ReplyDeleteI also miss the days when STH was a beloved video game frachsise.
Thanks for letting me know about the new series, Ill be sure to check it out when iit finally does air.
P.S: Any chance we can hear your thought on E3?
Hmmm, this looks rather intresting. I should proabaly look at this when I have time.
ReplyDeleteAlso,
Hellsing FTW!
Why do you do that? Why do you make something sound awesome and tell me not to do it? I always hate it when there's a huge gap in series, so why would you tell me how awesome this one is? I don't have the will power to resist, Blue! What will I possibly do?!
ReplyDeleteOh, just saw the daily thought. Tee-hee, all is forgiven. And if you don't mind my asking, why do you keep checking your watch?
This is actually why I haven't read the series. So many people have told me it was awesome, but that Martin hasn't released a book in years. So instead I read The Sword of Truth series (which sounds cliche-ridden and is, but it does have believable characters for the most part). I do plan on watching the show, though.
ReplyDeleteAlso, True Blood's awesome. At first I did think they were cashing in on Twilight's unfortunate success, but then I watched the first few episodes, and I've watched it ever since.
I never saw Six Feet Under. I take it it's good. What's it about?
** Some people judge books by their covers, I just them by their titles.
ReplyDeleteI'm getting the feeling you meant "I judge them by their titles". As for this series, I've never heard of it. If it's fantasy though, hell ya, I could get into it. Also, was that a Red Dead Redemption reference with "I implore you"? If so, you rock. If not...you still rock :D
Oh crap, I'm doomed. I grabbed "A Game of Thrones" when you recommended it on your LOST series finale post and I'm currently 300 pages into "A Clash of Kings." It's too late for me now.
ReplyDeleteSPOILERS! By the way, I totally called Danaerys deciding to conquer the Seven Kingdoms herself before Viserys even died.
E3 post, coming right up. It isn't going to be long.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you liked them, Eric :). I still haven't gotten past book 1, but that's mostly because they're perpetually borrowed at my local library. I'm quite happy to wait a long time, knowing the quality of Martin's work - and I will mourn his death more than I mourn the lack of ending to ASoIaF if he, in his own words, "Pulls a Robert Jordan".
ReplyDeleteIf George R. R. Martin is to die, the publisher or his estate will inevitably pick somebody else to finish the last few books based upon his notes (see: Robert Jordan, Douglas Adams, Frank Herbert). The story will end, one way or another. People might not like it, but it will end. (Or if it doesn't, I'll MAKE it end... somehow.) The only thing to mourn is the loss of the man, not the story. Stories live on, people do not.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I really liked this series too. I haven't waited nearly as long as some have, only about a year, and I've already forgotten the fate of many characters. I mean, what was Bran doing last in A Storm of Swords?
ReplyDeleteWhat did you think of Sandor Clegane, by the way? He's my favorite character.
The Hound is cool. A little too crude for my tastes. Hopefully he'll get to kill The Frankenstein That Rides, if he's still alive.
ReplyDeleteWell, I bought the first book yesterday and I'm already a hundred pages in. It's pretty damn good, though at first it was hard to keep characters' connections straight as there are so damn many of them. I've sorted most of it out by now, though. So far my favorite characters are Bran (poor kid), Jon, and that dwarf (who's name escapes me at the moment).
ReplyDeleteI've heard that Martin is involved with the television show, so perhaps he'll give the producers and writers his notes of the unreleased books and the show will reveal the ending. How old is Martin, anyway? I don't think anyone has to worry about him not finishing the story. From what I hear, he very much wants to finish it himself. Maybe he'll pull a King and finish the last few within a couple of years of each other when he decides it's been too long and thinks he might die before he can finish (for those of you who don't know, I'm referring to King's The Dark Tower).
I'm so going to buy this book! It seems pretty cool and a billion thanks to you BlueHighwind, for introducing the book to us.
ReplyDelete--Darcy