Sunday, May 15, 2011

Bleach Recaps: Ep 204, FLCLimax

Last week we ended with the beginning of a glorious start of the ultimate battle for ultimate destiny.  So obviously this week's episode should be the explosive, the most exciting, and the most unbelievably awesome battle you've ever seen.  This should be an epic struggle that will be so unbelievable that you'll tell your grandkids that you were there.  You were watching TV when "Bleach" fought the good fight.  And they will stare at you in awe.  Tonight's episode should be nothing short of magnificence.  Its the kind of thing that you just needs some kind of crazy incomprehensible Latin choral song with a full screaming orchestra:

O fortuna!  Futune plago vulnera.
Audi famam illus!  Solos in hostes ruit! 
SEPHIROTH!  SEPHIROTH! 
CORN ON THE COB!!  CORN ON THE KABOB!

...Yeah, something like that.

So I'll just go to Cartoon Network now and prepare myself to be stunned by the spectacle to the point of manly tears.  My brain is ready to orgasm right now.  Whatever it is, it has to be awesome.  Yup, can't possibly go wrong...


Wait a second.......................................................


uh huh............................................

...............................Its a filler episode.......................................................

...........................................................Not a big deal....................................................

...........

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! YOU, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY?????WHY?????
WHATINTHENAMEOFALLTHATISHOLY???WHYDOWEDESERVETHIS???
THE GODDAMN AMAGAI ARC ENDED WEEKS AGO!!! WE DON'T NEED THIS SHIT AGAIN!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

.......

I AM BATMAN!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Tite Kubo:  "FUCK YOU, FANS!!"

Alright, alright, alright.  I can calm myself down.  I'm a professional "Bleach" recapper.  I was born to do this.  I've recapped worse episodes than this.  There's no reason that I can't do it again.  Hell, its not like this episode's main premise is about something stupid and pointless like a soccer game, right?  Just because Princess Idiot is back that doesn't mean that things still can't be awesome?

OH FUCK, ITS A SOCCER EPISODE!!!

Well... Actually they spend about two minutes actually playing soccer.  The rest of the time they're complaining about something called "Kimahri" or "Katamari" or something equally Japanese and meaningless to us American viewers.  Why the Hell did they even dub this episode?  Couldn't they have just kept this crap in Japan?

Okay, enough bitching.  Let's just get serious and do this thing.  For some reason Ichigo and his friends have traveled back to the Tangent Universe that was the Amagai Arc.  We're back in Karakura Town, which may or may not be inside the Soul Society now... or something.  So Princess Lampshade-hat has returned to Earth because back on the Soul Society she wants to play soccer, and her guardian Kenryu won't let her.  So he's here and they're arguing, so Kenryu quits in anger or something.  Now Ichigo and his friends have to get the Princess and Kenryu back together.  But Kenryu is about to kill himself (DO IT, FUCKING DO IT), and that's bad...  And then the Princess and Kenryu have wild dirty flithy sex on Ichigo's front yard just as a parade of purple elephants comes by and the Holy Knights of the Marshmallow Kingdom invade the People's Republic of Fudge-  Oh who even gives a flying fuck?

I can't even do this crap...
I'm done...  I quit.

In fact, I'm going to blow up the Earth now.  I'm sick of it all.

....No wait, that's a silly plan.  Let's simply watch something else.

"Blue, NOOOOOOOOO!!!  WE NEED YOU!"

Oh shut up.

So let's just see what other shows are on the Adult Swim lineup these days, huh?  Hmmm...

OH HELL YEAH!!!  FLCL!!

FONDLING AROUND, FOOLING AROUND, FOOLY COOLY!!!  Its the greatest show ever made!  A bastion of sanity in the world filled with nothing but madness and stupids!  "FLCL" would never betray me with an idiotic soccer episode.  Rather they make episodes about BASEBALL!!  Things always make sense in "FLCL" because the show never even attempts to follow any rules of logic or reason.  Everything is guitar rifts, wacky animation, robots coming out of an eighth grader's forehead, and my one true love, Haruko.  Instead it bows the mighty powers of awesome and funny!  All bow!  This as close to a review of "FLCL" as I'll ever do, you better learn to love it!  I'm Fooly Cooly and soon you'll be Fooly Cooly too.  Fooly Cooly for everybody!

But what does Fooly Cooly mean?  Anybody want to wager a guess or two?

This picture doesn't really explain anything.  But I don't care.

You know what?  It doesn't matter what Fooly Cooly means.  Just as long as its there.  Fooly Cooly is here to stay.  Fooly Cooly brings joy in a universe lacking it.  It brings fun to a place filled with boredom and horrible plots.  Its like the Pirate King becoming a giant red eagle and picking up a building-sized clothing iron and flying into the cosmos.  Its Fooly Cooly!  Tremble before its presence.

RIDE ON SHOOTING STAR!

"I love you."

8 comments:

  1. Naota's in sixth grade, at least in the Japanese version. But maybe they changed the dub so his relationship with Mamimi would seem less perverse.

    But dear god, spare yourself the pain and just watch the japanese version and skip the fillers! I really don't understand your xenophobia when it comes to subtitled anime. I even got my DAD into anime and he's fine with subtitles.

    XYZ

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  2. ^ yeah, no kidding. Whilst there are some dubs that you just have to watch over the subs (Cowboy Bebop, anyone?), to avoid all subs on principle is silly.

    Not only that, but watching the subs means that you get to skip all the crap and also means you're less likely to get completely blind-sided like this

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  3. I don't avoid all subs on principle. I watch whatever is available, but I am extremely loyal to the cast I watch first. I'm still not happy that Dragonball Z Kai recast Gohan and Freeza. Most animes I watch are dubbed because those are usually the only ones that get shown on television here.

    Much like in Japan, the dub actors in this country have their own talents and recurring character types. I can watch Bleach and say happily, oh look, Orihime is being played by the same woman who played Mamimmi on FLCL. I'm a huge fan of several voice actors including Spike Spenser (Shinji Ikari), Steven Blum (Spike Spiegel), Crispin Freeman (Alucard), Kari Wahlgren (Haruko), Wendee Lee (Faye Valentine), and Tiffany Grant (Asuka Langely Soryu). Much like movie actors, seeing them - well hearing them - gives me a moment of pleasure, like meeting an old friend once again. I don't know any Japanese voice actors, and I don't think my ear is trained to ever tell the difference between them.

    Plus dubs usually are much better translated than the subs. They remove those tiresome Japanese honorifics that do not belong in an English translation. Dubs also seem to work a lot harder in translating over jokes, especially puns that do not make any sense in English. FLCL's dub is world class in that respect. If I were xenophobic, I wouldn't be watching anime in the first place.

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  4. Hey Blue, have you ever seen the anime "Noein"? It has an interesting story, good characters, great music and animation, and Crispin Freeman.

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  5. Yeah, I can understand being fond of the actors you grew up with. But even so, often studios when they are dubbing tend to "localise" their translations, which can make the dialogue flow better, but can often kill the subtext of the Japanese version. Subs will often, not always, stick closer to the original at the risk of reading a bit clunky.

    Also, did you know that in Japan, Rei Ayanami, Faye Valentine, Jessie from Team Rocket and the female half of Ranma are all done by the same person? Thought you might like that.

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  6. OH YEAH FOOLY COOLY!!!>.< ONE OF THE BEST ANIME (in my opion) EVER!!!!!

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  7. A lot of dubs tend to "dumb down" the translation, and there are plenty of jokes that the dubs just leave out entirely. Besides, it was written with the honorifics, and they're part of the story, they actually give insight on how characters feel about each other. It's kind of weird for me now to watch anime dubbed and not have japanese people using the honorifics, it seems a bit out of place with the culture.

    Besides, I agree with Tequila, I prefer the original subtext with the clunky reading, as I know a little Japanese, and can see when there's subtle things being done and such. The dub translations are "better" in the sense that they americanize it more.

    XYZ

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  8. Let's not turn this into a sub vs dub war.
    Each have their own advantages and drawbacks, and if you can recognise those and still be fine with what you prefer, then that's perfectly fine.

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