Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Bleach Recaps: Ep. 184, Kira and Kibune, Offense and Defense of 3rd Division

Kira and Kibune fight in this episode.  That's really it.  A secondary villain fights a minor forgettable character in a mediocre battle that does not even reach a conclusion.  Does anybody even like Kira?  ...As it turns out, bizarrely, he's one of the most popular characters in Japan, having come in 9th place in the latest popularity poll according to the Bleach Wiki*.  We all know that Japanese teenagers for whatever reason love chronically depressed men and that's all kinds of messed-up.  But Kira isn't even Cloud Strife-level depressed, he just kinda has low energy and limited enthusiasm.  He should just work up the courage to ask Momo out, what else are you going to do for the thousands of years you have to live as a Soul Reaper?  Either get a girl or mope around.

Oh wait, Momo is dead.  Guess not.  Well, every other female Soul Reaper is single.  Keep at it!

As for Kibune, he's voice by Christopher Corey Smith, who previously worked as the Emperor in "Dissidia", which is probably why the guy is a smug effeminate jackass who you just want to punch in the face.  As much as I'd like a career in acting, I sure as Hell wouldn't like to be type-casted as the "guy who voices smug assholes".  Kibune in this episode is sounding less like the Emperor and more the like boss of the Meteo level in "Star Fox 64".  If you played that game, you'd recall that that boss was a robot piloted by a gay monkey - and he was piss-easy to beat too.  And that's Kibune for you:  a gay monkey.  Ultimately this all means that I don't really have anybody to root for here because I don't like either of these characters.  Which means I probably won't like this episode either.

The episode opens with a whole ton of pointless scenes of Soul Reapers running around while their officers order them to do stuff.  Even Mr. 69 and Flat-top are in on the action, even though I thought last episode they decided to join Ichigo's team or something.  Whatever.  Back in the main command post, Yamamoto gets a report about how the manhunt is doing. Yamamoto is on the edge of his seat in excitement.

*snore*

Either Yamamoto fell asleep or he just died from old age.  I don't actually know what that reaction is supposed to mean.  It doesn't matter since that's the last we see of him and every other Soul Reaper I just mentioned for this episode.  Bye Bye, you crazy old coot.  Maybe I'll see you next week.

Meanwhile Captains Shusui and Jushiro are talking like they always do.  These guys have been talking for about six years without any action now.  COME ON!  Shunsui did research into the Kasajinglebellsbatmansmellsoji Clan... only to discover nothing.  Master detective, you are.  We also learn that Captain Insano is watching the Soul Society borders in case of an attack.  Will there be an external attack?  Not this episode.  That's one of those random details "Bleach" gives us without really any purpose.  Remember all those Spirit Particles that the Evil Old Guy was buying up?  Yeah, that really changed everything, didn't it?  So I guess this whole two minute conversation is pointless.  Great.  Sometimes I think that the commercials move the plot along faster than the show.

Next up Ichigo and Amagai receive a telegram from the Soul Society's crack communications service:  butterflies.  I guess they're cuter than carrier pigeons.  They learn that Kira is fighting Kibune, then they race to save the Princess from the NINJARS.  They still haven't made it.  Guess that's something for next week too...

Meanwhile, Kenpachi is looking just as bored as I am:

"What else is on?"

Yachiru asks Kenny if he's going to join in the search for Ichigo and live up to that rematch promise he made like four years ago.  Kenpachi says "the producers told me that if I join in, the Arc will become interesting and exciting, so I can't".  Then with all my hopes for this season completely destroyed, we move on.

After several more pointless scenes, its time for us to join Kibune and Kira in their epic duel.  The highlights of this fight actually are the hilarious faces that Kibune makes every so often, all of which I'll have to show here.  Kibune suffers from Villain Diarrhea Mouth Syndrome which means he can never shut up but oddly does not divulge the entire evil scheme like the idiot he is.  Lucky thing that, since we still don't actually know who is running everything behind the shadows here.  Worse Kibune is the ultimate twat, and listening to his arrogance is a worse experience than wiping yourself with sand paper.  That's your episode for you!

A bunch of Squad 3 grunts run in and demand to know what's going on.  Kira yells "Makoto is the bad guy". Okay, so let's say you're an evil villain and suddenly the good guy has called you bad in front of Red Shirts who don't know what's going on. Do you call the other guy evil in order to create confusion?  Or do you just throw your sword at the newcomers like a fool?  Kibune is an idiot so he attacks.  Kira effortlessly blocks Kibune's attacks with his Shikai, saving the grunts so that they can escape (or disappear without explanation leaving me to assume they escaped).  By the way, Kira's Shikai has another effect which Kibune was not expecting:

"What is this shit??"

Well Kira immediately has to tell Kibune why his sword is so heavy now, or else it just wouldn't be "Bleach".  As Kira has explained at least a dozen times before, his sword doubles the weight of anything it touches.  So now Kibune's boomerang-sword weighs six times as much.  However Kira must suck at math since his sword touched Kibune's at least four times that I could count, so according to basic math (2 x 2 x 2 x 2 = 16), Kibune's sword should weight sixteen times as much.  Six isn't even a power of two!  Where the Hell did he come up with that?  Well, whatever the actual weight, Kibune can still use his Zanpakuto for no explained reason, meaning that Kira's whole strategy has failed.  He continues to hit the sword all episode, adding more and more and weight, until I think Kibune's sword must weight 128 times as much at least... and still no effect.  I guess Kibune is just that badass?

After some more tussling, Kibune throws out his ace in the whole:  a Bankotto!  Remember those?  Kibune's glasses** have fallen off, and he is done playing around.  Time for a proper DBZ screaming powerup:

He came... hard.

Now filled with unholy Bankotto power Kibune proceeds to... tell his life story.  What brought that about?  Turns out that Kibune was just as much as crazy asshole back in Soul Reaper High School.  Being a total jerk obsessed with POWAH, Kibune took years to get into a Squad and everybody hated him.  He then discovered the Bankottos and knew this was the path to POWAH.  Now he's going to be the MOST POWAHFUL SOUL REAPER EVER!!!!  Unfortunately this flashback doesn't actually answer what made Kibune so evil, just what made him like Bankottos so much.  So its completely boring and pointless - like everything this arc!  I'm actually interested in what turned him evil, why can't we learn that?  I suspect Kibune is after UNLIMITED POWAH because he got beaten up a lot in Soul Reaper Middle School for being generally fruity.  But since "Bleach" isn't actually interested in that, we'll never know.

Oh, and Kibune has now gone completely batshit.  This shot is the most hilarious thing I have seen in a while:

"I FUCKING LOVE POWAH!!!"

If Kibune keeps up all this crazy, I am going to piss my pants.  I love his faces.

Just when Kibune is about to end the fight and cut Kira in half, Kira is saved by the end credits.  Lucky him.  I guess the conclusion is coming next week.  Lame.  Do you think that Kibune's Bankotto will eat his soul just like the last crop of NINJARS?  If you do, you probably don't need to see next week's episode.  (Sigh)  Here's to next time...

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* These are the same polls that once put Kenpachi Zaraki in 27th place.  So that says a lot about how much we should trust them as a scientific measure of a character's worth.  Currently he's in 15th, which is frankly pathetic for somebody that awesomely insane.

** During this entire episode there's an odd visual issue with Kibune's glasses that make them seem like they don't have lenses.  I don't know why they drew them like that.

4 comments:

  1. ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH!

    Maybe he doesn't mean the sword makes things double in weight. Maybe, it, like, makes it increase by its original weight. So the first time it touches it, it doubles, then the next time it's *1.5, then *1.333..., and I guess they only touched swords three times.

    Alternatively, the lip sync was one syllable too short to say "sixteen."

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  2. @SideburnsPuppy But they could have edited the lip syncing, so it was probably the first assumption. Or math fail.

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  3. Kenpachi is often low becuase he's everything we like and Japan hates: masculent, bold, gruff. Interestingly, he has a counterpart: Hitzugaya, whose everything we hate and Japan likes: Girly, emo, and short.

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  4. I just found out Emps/Kibune also voiced RUFUS FROM STREET FIGHTER IV! How would anybody know that, other than the internet?!

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