Bleach Recaps: Ep. 211, Aizen's First Inaugural Address

Wow this season went fast.  Did you know that next week is the last episode of this Turn Back the Pendulum Arc?  Right now we got Aizen giving his entire crazy explanation for everything that has happened so far.  Meaning that, yes, as I feared, this entire season only really tells us how the Visoreds were created, and it was Aizen.  Unless next week can somehow manage a good twist at the end, like Urahara suddenly making out with Aizen after the fighting is over, I really doubt this entire season will have been worth seeing at all.  Its just storyline fluff:  the whole flashback tale could have been told in two episodes if so needed.  Whatever, filler is filler, I guess.

Last week Captain 69 and Mashiro turned into Visoreds and went totally berserk and crazy.  Mashiro especially got down on a new level of break-dancing spinning-kick funk so out of this world that it cracked Rose's head right open.  The Soul Reapers were unable to stand their ground against a blazin' sweet funk so far out.  But now the weird pink-haired fat man has a plan:  use the poorly-defined magic spells of the "Bleach" universe to win!  He's only second in command of whatever the "Kido Corps" is, so he should be a master Black Mage.  And that's where the fight stands now.  For some reason the three Captains here are not using their Bankais... and nobody is bothering to explain why.  This always bugs me - its not like Goku ever held back his Super Saiyan against a tough opponent.

At the start of episode 211, Captain Shunsui is walking around for an ill-defined reason.  He spots Aizen walking around on his balcony, seemingly doing paperwork.  And... um... that's it.  I don't know why he's up or what this scene is supposed to accomplish.  Will Shunsui even effect the events to come?  Of course not.  So why are we wasting time with him!?

Then we figure out what the point of this is:

Little Nanao!

Remember, Nanao?  Shunsui's semi-bitchy lieutenant in the present timeline?  Well, this is her when she was nine or something.  The whole point of getting Shunsui into this episode is for some fanservice for people who like Nanao.  Sadly she isn't as adorable as lil' Byakuya, though I do like how that book is either freakishly huge or she's only three feet tall.  Nanao is worried that Lt. Lisa won't come back on her mission, but Shunsui assures her that Lisa will be fine.  "She'll be back in the morning, you can count on it."

NO, LISA'S FRIGGIN' DEAD!  PSYCH!

But hey, it works out for Shunsui.  As soon as he loses one girl with glasses he finds another.  Now that's some fate right there.

Things are still not going well for the Soul Reaper team of canon fodder.  Hiyori's dastardly funk has been contained, but Captain 69's is still running loose and free.  Everybody yells at Captain 69 for hitting a girl, to which he replies in his usual Hollow fashion:  randomly attack at things.  Lisa, as it turns out, is fine.  She can't die without getting that mask on, can she?  Fat Man demands that everybody goes and attack at full force so he can launch a spell to beat 69.  Oh, the spell just be so strong that it will kill them all, might be an issue.  This sounds like a job for some Bankais!  ...But nobody uses them.  Is it me, or are "Bleach" characters really stupid?  I think Aizen deserves to win.

Of course, Bushido Brown aint taking that.  "Is that all?"  Bushido Brown summons all the Jim Kelly kung-fu magic he can muster and charges in on his own.  The attack completely fails.  Brown fires off a perfect "DAAMN!!!"  Luckily this is exactly what Fat Man needs to get the mojo flowing.  A giant X falls from the sky and 69 is defeated:

Owned.

So that happened.  Everybody stands around considering how to fix 69, but then Hiyori starts feeling a bit... ill:

Hiyori is the Lugie Queen!

Then she cuts Shinji up with her sword.  Everybody immediately thinks that Hiyori has turned evil, but I don't really so how this violent behavior is any different than her normal self.  Yeah, she has a Hollow mask but that's just fashion there.  Then when things couldn't get worse, they naturally do.  That same black fog appears out of nowhere, and Bushido Brown is taken down.  DYNO-MITE!

Then who would appear from behind but the Alien Dude from two episode ago.  I knew there was something weird about that guy!  Then the alien dude takes his mask off and its...  TOSEN!

"Yo."

In one of the most beautiful twists "Bleach" has pulled together, they've actually managed to out-fox me!  Tosen was the alien from the beginning.  I just thought the alien was another symptom of Tite Kubo's weird character design.  But instead it was a cunning plan from the beginning, hiding the villain in the most inconspicuous place.  And here I was certain that G. Gordon Liddy would turn out to be the monster.  Shinji, lying defeated, demands to know why Tosen is evil.

In walks Aizen, as smug as ever, having rehearsed his big villain moment for the last hour or so.  Gin is with hims, but he just stands around smiling.  This is going to take the rest of the episode folks.  As strong as Aizen says he is, his real superpower is smugness and an inability to never stop talking.  Shinji is like "I knew you were evil in your mother's womb".  However, Aizen is like "yeah, whatever, you still suck, dude.  And you used that joke before."  Turns out that Aizen's Super Hypnosis actually does work on Shinji.  For the last month, Aizen got a body double and went off to do evilness while Shinji was fooled.  Who was this body double?  Just some random lumpy dude we've never seen before.

"Hi folks.  My name is Chad.  You'll never see again."

I actually felt that Chad here was a really underused character in "Bleach", having only shown up once and probably will never return again.  So I actually have him here, in the studio right now to give us just a brief glimpse of the life of a "Bleach" extra.  Hello Chad!

"Hey folks!  I never thought that me, Chad, just a humble data entry man at a bank would ever get to be part of something as wonderful as Lt. Aizen's evil plan.  You bet I was surprised when he came to me saying that he needed somebody to walk around pretending to be him for a month.  I even turned him down at first, but the wife and kids told me that this was a once in the lifetime opportunity.  So I called him back, took the job, and followed that guy with the weird teeth.  I have to say, its been an honor serving Evil, even in the small way that I could.  My kids were so proud when they saw all those Captains turn into monsters.  They said, 'our dad did that!  He's the greatest dad in the world!'  That moment alone was enough for ol' Chad here.  When the world is covered in Hellfire and the human race in destroyed, I'll know that in my small way, I made it happen.  Its a great feeling.  Goodnight folks!"

Thank you, Chad.  You've been a great guest, and I hope to see you again one day.  Now back to the recap.

"The TV-14 rating is eating my face!!  AAAHH!!"

Yup, in between Aizen's endless speech of smugness, Shinji starts to turn as well.  But he's able to hold his sanity for a bit and fights Tosen.  Hiyori tries to jump in, but she gets easily beaten by Tosen, who is weirdly badass for some reason.  The fight is really good, I'd say.  Tosen is almost beaten, but he holds his ground.

"Oh yeah, I had to pee sooooo bad...  Ahh...  That's better."

Aizen prepares his own sword, ready to use his utterly Broken superpowers to win the day for Evil.  I still don't entirely know what he was trying to accomplish.  Despite his Mammoth Smugness of Mega Douchness, Aizen never bothered to tell us WHY he turned the Soul Reapers into Hollows.  Fun?  Sexual Thrills?  Is this his Science Fair Project?  Well, he doesn't quite get to finish Shinji off, because in flies Auxahra and the Vampire Guy.  Now the stage is set for even more fighting!  Not that Aizen could care less:

"I'm so utterly perfect in every way. Nobody can beat my Smug!"

But that's all next week's business.  Sadly there will not be a recap for next week's episode because I'm on vacation then.  I'm only missing one week, you don't need to cry too hard.  I don't know how much time I'll have to do my blog work, but I really don't want to not recap next week's episode, since it is the end of the current season.  I may wind up recapping that one late and not recap the stupid filler episode that will play on the 16th.  So here's to... well, not next week, but two weeks from now!  Enjoy!