Bleach Recaps: Ep. 194, Nelliel's Past

Apologies for not writing a recap last week, I wasn't feeling up to it.  Usually that would be a pretty lame excuse, but under the circumstances I feel I have the right to tell anybody with a problem to respectfully fuck off.  Also Episode 193 was a Granz episode, meaning that it was absolutely unbearably awful from beginning to end.  I can recap it right now:  "Granz made plush toys, then acted really fruity.  Please die, Granz.   THE END."  You happy?

Anyway, tonight's episode is at least partially a flashback to Nel's days as an Espada.  There we get to learn that Spoony once upon a time had a more sane fashion sense, Dondomoron and Pesche weren't always incredibly annoying, and that Granz is a total dick.  Wait, we already knew that last one.  Oh whatever, I feel its an important life lesson worth repeating several times.  More importantly we learn how Nel was defeated in the past.  And the explanation... doesn't suck.  In fact, this episode is really good, and even does the impossible by making Dondomoron and Pesche look like half-way decent characters for a moment.  Along the way, we also learn why Spoony is so evil.  Well done, "Bleach", well done.  Finally you learn that using characters as mere joke factories is not good storytelling.

Of course, I think the real purpose of Episode 194 is to show that Nel, unlike most of her comrades, makes the Arancar thing look good.  Oh yeah...

Well, just in case "Bleach" made an episode that was too good, Granz makes a couple of appearances.  And of course, the episode has to open with Dondomoron and Pesche doing an unfunny bit about digging.  Dondomoron stands over the rubble of Granz's palace and tries digging out his buddy out of the ground, while Pesche begs for help.  The obvious joke here is that Pesche is standing right next to Dondomoron, making the digging pointless, but even that level of "Scooby Doo" humor is too much for these two.  In fact, I don't actually know what the joke is during this bit.  Then there's a reference to "Udo Noodles" some kind of Japanese thing that fails to translate in any way to an International audience.  Ultimately Pesche and Dondomoron finally ask themselves "why are we acting so stupid?" and finally stop trying to be funny.  Thank God.

"With these adorable plushies, I shall make MILLIONS!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

Meanwhile Nel and Spoony are still fighting.  Ichigo tries to get involved, but he can't do anything.  Plus Burton the Robot is standing around making sure nobody interferes.  Then without warning, we're in a flashback!  Nel and Spoony are fighting in just about the exact same place with roughly the same result, Nel winning.  In fact, if you don't notice that Spoony has lost his spoon*, you might think that Nel has just changed her suit.  However, careful examination will note that Spoony has gone down to Espada #8 and that his giant scythe(?) has lost its bottom portion.

Yeah, Nel makes every outfit sexy.

Past-Spoony is really pissed to have lost in the past, and demands that Past-Nel kill him.  You see, Past-Spoony hates Past-Nel, probably because he asked her out once and totally got shut down.  Past-Nel explains that she doesn't need to kill Past-Spoony, he's not worth her trouble.  Anyway, it occurs to me that killing an Espada willy-nilly might not be a good thing for Past-Lord Aizen's grand plan to conquer the universe.  Then again, considering that Aizen is completely incompetent (as we'll learn later), he probably encourages treasonous behavior like this.

So, Past-Spoony sulks with Past-Burton (about the same as Present-Burton just with an extra eye).  Past-Burton asks, "why does this one chick infuriate you so much?" to which Past-Spoony replies in hilarious fashion "BECAUSE I HATE HER!!!"  He's pissed that a woman is his superior, apparently forgetting about that hottie with the collar that covers her face, who is Espada #3, Tia.  I still think Past-Spoony is just pissed that Past-Nel shot him down when he asked her out.  Clearly in the Arancar high school popularity ranks, Nel is the Prom Queen and Spoony is that weird kid with no friends and spends all day alone reading Ayn Rand.

Then the present for a minute.  Nothing happens, so back to the past.

Past-Nel is looking around for Past-Dondomoron and Past-Pesche so that they can eat dinner.  She looks all around her post Espada dorm-room for her buddies, including under the vase, but finds nothing.  Dondomoron and Pesche are such bad comic reliefs that they actually can transcend the time-space continuum and create unfunny comedy bits in the past.  That's skill right there... or whatever the opposite of skill is.  Past-Nel then wanders outside to find Past-Spoony giving a shit-eating grin:

"Laaadies..."

Past-Nel is pretty annoyed to see him "Not you again!"  Well, Past-Spoony is back and he's done something truly evil:  he's captured Past-Dondomoron and Past-Pesche and ripped off their past-masks.  You don't actually get to see what he's done, but considering all the blood, Past-Spoony is one sick son of a bitch.  If he had done this to some characters in this series who didn't have it coming I might hate him for it.  Past-Nel and Past-Spoony start fighting for real while the chorus in the background sound as if they're about to have heart attacks.

Unfortunately for Past-Nel, Past-Spoony has teamed up with Past-Granz to make a small illusion device.  While Past-Nel is dealing with Past-Spoony's Past-Shadow, the real Past-Spoony clocks Past-Nel over her past-head.

Ow.

I'm rather impressed by how efficiently this half of the episode has been done.  So much plot has happened in only a few minutes, this is how you run a TV show.  The fact that Granz is working with Spoony was conveyed not with five minutes of exposition but just by flashing Granz's face for a second, giving all the information with true economy.  But don't worry, the exposition is coming anyway.

After the break, Past-Spoony is berating Past-Nel for being too logical about fighting.  Once again Spoony says that in fighting you should do whatever you need to win (true), but then he elaborates that you don't need a reason to fight (not true).  Fighting for no reason is called psychopathic behavior for a reason.  Do I even need to point this out?  Spoony's philosophy is stupid**, and probably stems from the fact that no matter what he does he will never be cool enough to score a babe like Nel.

Past-Granz then shows up, acting just as much like the creepy rapist that he is in the present.  He's such a perverted scumbag that he makes even Past-Spoony's skin crawl.  "Why the cold shoulder?" says Past-Granz, being as sexual as possible.  Past-Spoony aint buying it, so he throws Nel over the side, where she devolves to her child form for some reason.

"Plot convenient... amnesia... setting in... owwie..."

Sidenote:  As far as Aizen's supposed grand master plan, I don't see how this helps in any way.  If Aizen just kept a tighter control on his troops, Nel would still be on his side.  And right now Spoony wouldn't be fighting her.  In fact, if it weren't for Spoony being a jerk, Ichigo would have been already captured and dead, and then basically Aizen would have won the war.  Oh well.

Past-Dondomoron and Past-Pesche decide that since Nel hated fighting, they should take her away from Past-Hueco Mundo so they can give a simple happy life as comic reliefs.  Its actually a really touching moment, and well explains why those two characters seem like they're trying so hard to be funny all the time.  Its because they are.  They're trying to entertain their fallen master so she doesn't have to remember her hard past.  ...Could it be that I've finally found something to like about these guys?  Why yes, I think I have!  If only their joking around was toned down a bit and they actually did something useful, I might begrudgingly give them some respect.

Flashback over.  Cutting to the Present-Granz fight, Renji is getting his ass kicked.  Granz picks out little tendons inside his cute Renji doll so they can torture him longer.  Last episode Uryu fell out of the fight because his estomago got crushed (which should be a fatal injury if I'm not mistaken), now Granz is toying with his prey.  Granz's very nature just forces the plot to move at a snail's pace.  How does he ever get anything done?  If he can't defeat two guys without taking two years, what's his use as a soldier in Aizen's army at all?  Just crush the corazón or the cerebro and the battle is over! Well, thanks to Granz's stalling - surprise, surprise - Uryu and Renji get rescued.  But by who?  Know other than Dondomoron and Pesche of course!  Pesche makes a dive and steals the dolls while Dondomoron summons the Worm and makes a grand speech.  "If master Nel wants to fight, we will stand by her side.  We will not be intimidated by the like of you, Szayel Aporro!"  This is... actually pretty cool!  Why couldn't these two get serious fifty episodes earlier?  The two idiots saved the day, that's awesome.

As for Granz, well.... Yeah:

Seriously what the fuck?

(Also, gotta laugh at how badly the animators screwed up his eyes.)

Back at the Spoony fight, Nel decides to launch her super form!  The episode sadly ends the second before we get to see her in Super Saiyan mode.

Unfortunately this means that Nel is doomed.  In anime, if you show off your super attack first, you have no chance to win.  "Thee who transforms last shall triumph."  Because it would be totally lame if you didn't get to see the enemies attack, right?  Oh well, poor Nel.

Here's to next week.

----------------------------------------

* Past-Spoony doesn't actually look half bad without that idiotic spoon-collar.  I have absolutely no idea what that collar is supposed to mean.  What kind of character trait does wearing such a bizarre outfit convey?  That the character is such a jerk that nobody will tell him that he looks awful?  Maybe every Arrancar in Hueco Mundo are playing an "Emperor's New Cloths"-style joke on him, they won't tell him how stupid that look is so that they can snicker at him behind his back.  This kind of thing exists in the real world too, by the way.  We normal people do it to those jackasses with three-inch wide ear gages.

** A disturbingly large number of animes incorporate some kind of variation on "the soul of combat" in their internal philosophies.  They seem to assume that while fighting somebody you can learn some sort of deeper truth about yourself and the other, and there's some sort of honor to warfare.  Guess what?  None of those things are true.  You fight to survive, plain and simple.  That's the universal truth of all fighting, from bacteria to world wars.  If you can't survive on your own, you fight something else to steal its resources, be it just by plain eating it or by taking its property.  In a perfect world fighting would not exist at all, as its basic nature is deplorable.  People who think that there's some kind of greater meaning to be found in beating the shit out of others are insane.